10 Ways to Increase Happiness and Self Confidence

Happy Tuesday! Do you have any fun plans for this week and/or upcoming weekend? Let me know in the comments below. I will personally be working a lot and will also be looking forward to some exciting plans for Friday. It should be a great time!

Today, we'll be discussing self confidence. Do you struggle with insecurity? I think that a lot of young people do, and I would actually have to say that I also have a hard time with this, too. These days, we live in a culture that basks in a sense of competition and hierarchy. We tend to compare ourselves with other people with the visual of a ladder. She's better than me at this, I'm better than him at that. This group needs to improve on one thing, and I want to beat so-and-so at this other thing. Personally, I experience the most competition as a pre-med student. How do I stand as opposed to my competition when it comes to grades? Internships? Research? Extracurricular activities? Test scores? Community service hours? 

When you're constantly finding your spot on the ladder based on where everyone else is, how do you not start feeling that self confidence level take a hit?

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Well, here are ten tips for trying to help boost that self esteem (and happiness overall!). I hope you find these helpful and inspiring as you go about your week! 

#10: Think about your long-term goals frequently. Do you want to travel? Take up a new hobby? Have a successful career? Run a marathon? Become financially stable? Start a family? Make new friends? Grow in your faith and spirituality? Well, you could have all of these goals or even others, but I am a firm believer that long-term goals add purpose to life. And I think that having some sort of external purpose outside of solely existing is important. It gives your life meaning, and it also holds you accountable to yourself. These goals are what you want to achieve, so it's up to you to make them happen. As you come closer to reaching these and start setting new ones, you'll also come to appreciate how much you are capable of!

#9: Work toward your short-term goals. It's no good to just think about your long-term goals and then do nothing about them. It's best to plan out some of the steps you want to take in order to reach that long-term goal, kind of like having stops along the route in a road trip. Smaller journeys within a long one. Goals within goals. Achievement doesn't happen overnight, you have to work toward it every day. Doing this will increase your sense of self efficacy, and perhaps your self confidence will follow.

#8: Have fun with friends. Kicking back and letting loose can really work wonders, guys. Since I'm more of a Type-A(sian) personality, I don't really know if I believe in the "work hard, play harder" mentality because I tend to find a lot of value in the work I do. But, what is the point of working hard if you can't spend your life doing anything fun with the people around you? When you're having fun, it takes your mind off the stress that can cause insecurity and improve your perspective on the people around you--and yourself. Make some new memories, and enjoy life! 

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#7: Think laterally. I've addressed this in previous posts, but one's perspective on life can really transform when you think of everybody on a plain as opposed to a ladder. It ultimately comes down to accepting that every person has strengths and weaknesses, and the combinations of these strengths and weaknesses are unique to each person. Learn to embrace the people you come across as individuals. Think about yourself as an individual who has his/her own special place in the world. Find some self-acceptance, and then start building that self confidence.

#6: Eat healthy and be fit. We tend to have a more holistic approach to happiness, spirituality, and self esteem here at Smiles No Matter, and I would definitely say that although your physical appearance doesn't necessarily make you more confident, how you feel physically can make a huge impact. A lot of people don't think that they're the "exercising type" or the "healthy type." Although going to the gym every day or only eating salads sounds intense, these aren't the only ways to be healthy. People who spend 3-7 hours a week are already doing themselves a favor with little cost. And it's okay to still eat a lot as long as you're putting good foods into your body (it might even be better). Start with small steps. Instead of that bag of potato chips, try some carrot sticks or an apple. Instead of a Big Mac for lunch, try a grilled chicken sandwich. Go for a 20-minute walk after dinner. Drink a glass of water or tea every morning. These are just a few little ways to start moving toward a healthier lifestyle. When your body starts feeling better, you will too!

#5: Clean your space. This again goes into a more holistic perspective. Maintaining a clean and tidy desk, bedroom, and kitchen helps make work less stressful, rest more refreshing, and cooking more enjoyable. Take care of your home! 

#4: Do something kind for somebody else. There's a lot of talk about "survival of the fittest" these days, but one way a species stays fit is through altruism, which is a sense of self-sacrifice for the sake of another individual in the population. Why compete against someone if you can help her/him? Remember that you have the power to make a difference in another's life, and this can be a beautiful thing.

#3: Step out of your comfort zone. How do you expect to grow if you don't push yourself to try new things, take on different challenges, and experience life?

#2: Accept that bad things happen. Are you somebody who has a hard time getting over mistakes and bad times? I can say that I am definitely one of these people. When I see injustice or if I do something that hurts somebody else, I feel guilt for not having done more, and become filled with remorse for not having lived up to a standard or expectation that I'd held for myself. If you're like this too, I know what you're going through! Unfortunately, dwelling on the negative is harmful because it means that we're not focusing on the positive, and this can really tear down that self esteem. Instead of reliving the pain or guilt, accept it and find a way to move on. Whether this means making an apology, granting forgiveness, or addressing whatever needs to be fixed, do it as soon as possible. And when things blow up (and they will, because that's how life is), don't just learn to forgive others. Learn to forgive yourself, too.

#1: Remember the difference between self confidence and arrogance. It is possible to have self confidence and be happy while still maintaining humility. Self confidence is about accepting and loving yourself as a person--there is a lot of room to put others' needs ahead of your own while you have self confidence. 

So those are ten simple ways to increase your self confidence (and overall happiness too)! 

What's one thing you have done to help yourself? Any fun stories about stepping outside your comfort zone? Let me know in the comments below! 

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day! 

Smile on,

-Riley XO

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

Good morning, world! How are you today? I'm doing okay overall. I had a job interview last week and am anxious for the results. I hope that I will be able to get this job as a chemistry tutor this coming fall, but I'm trying to tell myself that God will provide.

This morning's discussion is longer than usual because it's all about purpose--finding the right purpose in your life. A while ago, I had a conversation with a special friend about life. We touched a little bit on purpose, which kind of got the wheels in my head turning. Do you feel like you have purpose in your life?

It's basically the long-term debate in philosophy: looking for the right purpose. Aristotle said our purpose is to live a flourishing life in study. Epictetus believed that our purpose is to live a happy life by caring only about the things that truly matter (which are the things we influence). Mill thought that our purpose is to increase the overall happiness level in the world as much as possible, and reduce the amount of pain. (I often think of Mill as the mathematician of philosophers.)

We have books overflowing with arguments and ideas about how to live life, and these books fill the shelves of thousands of bookstores across the nation.

And yet, there have been times I hit that rut where I don't really know what to do. What is my purpose in life? When are some of the moments in your life when you've asked yourself this question?

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Here, I'm going to share with you my tips on what to do during these times, and also what I believe is my purpose. I pray that what you read will bring you inspiration and optimism as you think about your life.

Firstly, know that it's okay to not be okay. We recently finished a seven-part series studying a book called Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. An overarching theme in the book is that although winning is lots of fun, many of the most powerful moments in life come from losing. Losing and feeling empty can be precursors to growing and maturing. Life can be represented with a yin-yang. There is the good, the warmth, the happiness, the health. And in that very same symbol, there is the evil, the cold, the pain, the sickness. Both exist together, within each other. The yin cannot exist without the yang. If you accept the wins of life, you must learn to accept the losses too.

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I think that the modern society puts a lot of value in having purpose, in being happy. Society tells us to always answer "good" when we're asked how we are. Naturally, when we don't feel like we have purpose, we tend to feel ashamed, abnormal. But you know what? There's nothing wrong with having a bad day, week, month, or even year! There are many good ones to come. Remember to take the good with the bad.

Secondly, document your thoughts. I have personally experienced so many instances where I suddenly felt overwhelmed by absolutely everything. About a year ago, my cousin gave me this journal. At the time, I was pretty lame at journaling, so I made it my New Year's resolution to write something in it each day. This last January, I purchased another journal because it has been such a helpful tool for me to keep track of the daily thoughts, worries, praises, and events. In journaling, I've improved my time management, and sort of experience this sense of peace as I reflect. I do believe that part of our purpose is to enjoy every day that we're blessed with. One way to start appreciating every day is to write them down.

Thirdly, surround yourself with love. From my experience, the nuclear family has a powerful bond that you can rely on when everything else fails. However, while you can't choose your family, you can choose your friends. There are some people who will encourage you to do things that are against your morals or standards, and when you stumble upon people like this, run away in the opposite direction! Stay with the people who encourage you in the hard times, rejoice with you in your successes, and respect you even during your lowest points in life. Be with people who are also searching for and pursuing their own purposes. What's that saying again? "Birds of a feather flock together."

Fourthly, practice gratitude. Take some time every day to give thanks. While not every day may not be good, there is still good in every day. Find the good in every day.

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And now we arrive at the second part of this post, which is where I will be sharing what I believe my purpose is. As it is evident through this blog, I believe that my purpose is to help people find happiness in their lives. But this purpose is part of a greater purpose. I have come to learn that life's purpose is to love.

I'll have to admit that until about a year ago, I was a half-hearted Christian. I talked the Word, and I thought I knew all about what it meant to be a Christian, but now I realize how wrong I was. The Church says a whole lot about "Believing to get to Heaven." Now, I'm not saying that believing isn't important. It's just that I wasn't guided to know what to believe in.

I was taught that if you believe that Jesus died and rose for you, it was like getting this one-way ticket to Heaven.

While it was acceptable as a child, as I grew older, I had trouble seeing what the point was. To me, it sounded like, "Believe in this story, and this simple story will allow you to escape a hellish void that mankind deserves to remain in after this life." So what if I believed that this guy died for me? People die for people all the time.

Last year, I went through some of the worst experiences in my life. The one person that I thought I could count on didn't just let me down, but came back to make sure that he'd beaten me to the ground. I was later forced to leave my beloved home due to a set of unfortunate circumstances. Christianity as I had known it could get me far, but not through this.

Although the most painful events of my life (so far) happened that year, so did some of the most important lessons.

I learned in a whole new way that God is love. God is also an abstraction. For instance, think of your best friend's name. Now try describing your best friend. Do you notice, that as you continue to describe this person more, there only becomes more information that you left out? Each person that you know is so complex. As you think you start developing relationships with people, the more about these people you discover. Well, the same is true with God. But God is so much greater than people, the abstraction indefinitely more complex. As I learned more about God, the more I realized that God is so much more than a noun describing the omniscient, omnipotent presence that created the world. God is an action. God is love.

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Let's look at the life of Jesus.  A lot that my church did was talk about how much he showed up the Pharisees and the disciples with his wisdom and insight. "How wrong they were. How right he is."

A lot can be said about Christ's theological knowledge. But so much more can be written, studied, and shared about the way he lived. He lived with the people everyone else hated. He shared meals with the poor--and not just volunteered at a soup kitchen--he actually sat down and ate with them, like they'd been friends forever.

A man asked Jesus, "What is the greatest commandment?" And Jesus answered, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12).

He calmed the storms of people's hearts, healed the dying, comforted the weary. His life was so full of love as he lived the greatest commandments.

And then his death.

I cannot imagine a stronger example of true love than Christ's death.

It's the innocent sacrifice in exchange for the tainted, the lamb to the slaughterhouse. His death was pure. But as I thought about it, I came to realize that Christ did not die only for the people who would eventually come to believe in him a couple thousand years later. He died for all mankind. Even the sinners. Even the people who hated him. Even the people who killed him. He suffered knowing that from these people who tortured and crucified him, he would gain nothing in return. And yet--he still suffered for them.

When I look at Jesus' life, death, and ascension, I see purpose that is not only worth living for, but dying for. And that is why I am inspired by the Word to seek love, and to share it with others.

The beautiful thing about love is that it is shown through small gestures and huge, grand ones. Although I don't think I am capable of doing great things alone, I know that I can do small things with great love. This is how I want to live. Love is what I'll hold on to.

Smile on,
-Riley XO

The 5 Love Languages

Happy Tuesday! How are you? I hope everything is going well for you and that each day has been coming as a blessing. Today I feel like talking about how people express love, since last week we explored a little bit of the importance of doing love. I actually learned about the "Five Love Languages" about six months ago doing a workshop focused on leadership from the Jesuits' perspective. The workshop looked at leadership as a quality that could be developed essentially through finding your strengths and talents, and then harnessing them to bring them out to help others.

So, we spent about three hours talking about these Love Languages. 

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As you could probably assume, there are many examples of people showing love, and they are all different. But some smart people got together and put these ways of showing love into five categories: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. In general, people feel a stronger affinity towards one or two of these. And (hopefully I phrase this clearly) sometimes, a person may prefer to receive love in one language but tend to also give love in another. 

Anyhow, I thought it would be fun for us to figure out what our main love languages are, so here is a link to a quiz! (Note: I am linking to the "singles" version so that it would tell us about how we love universally, but there is also a "relationship version.")

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/singles/

Here is my ranking from my top love language down to the bottom one:

1. Quality Time
2. Acts of Service
3. Physical Touch
4. Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts

What were your results? Did you expect them to turn our like that? Why? Please share in the comments below!

The workshop I took emphasized the uniqueness of each language, and that people working to foster leadership in themselves and others learn about the many ways to express love, eventually growing to speak all of the languages fluently.

Kinda, cool, huh?

Well, that's pretty much all I have for now! A quick but fun post! Hope you have a great day, and experience the wonderful joy that comes from being loved.

Smile on,
-Riley XO

No Mirrors Challenge!

Greetings, person of the Internet! A while ago, my Genders Studies professor encouraged us to go without either technology or mirrors for a week. Since staying in contact with my friends and family was important to me, I chose to forgo looking at my reflection. It sounds sort of silly at first, I know. But in the end, I ended up taking a lot more out of it than I expected to. It was surprising how much I look at my own reflection and how difficult it turned out to be! Today, I will be sharing some of the takeaways I got from this experience. (Warning: At the end, you too will be challenged to try a mirror fast.)

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To be honest, I didn't think that living without mirrors would be very difficult for me. I believe myself to focus on seeing inner beauty of the people around me, and since I try consistently to see beyond the physical appearance, this challenge seemed like cakewalk. Sure, it would be kind of awkward when I couldn't look straight forward while brushing my teeth or washing my hands, but it really was only a couple minutes of the day. When talking to my other classmates about how they coped with the mirror challenge, my reliance on mirrors was definitely not the same as theirs. I was literally shocked to hear that some girls would refuse to even leave the dorms when they felt like they could not control and monitor their own appearance. Soon after the first day, however, I started experiencing some version of stress over the challenge.

It wasn't only mirrors that I was supposed to avoid looking at, but pretty much everything that could give me a glimpse of my physical appearance: polished glass, computer/phone screens, windows, clear pools of water, etc.

Something inside of me changed. I felt out of sync with myself because I just didn't have any feedback about what I looked like. Mirrors helped me regulate what was going on in my body all the time. "You have some dark circles; a nap wouldn't be a bad idea. You look a little pale; let's get some juice," I would often say to myself as I washed my hands. It's easier to know how you feel when you can visualize how it is affecting you. Without this sort of sense of self-monitoring, I felt out of touch with myself. Isn't it strange how that turned out?

When I needed to avoid mirrors, I started to realize how often I look at myself, too. Even if it's merely a passing glance at my reflection on a shiny black car, I get a sense of self-affirmation when I see my reflection. I tell myself that I'm beautiful. I smile at myself on nice days and give myself pep-talks on hard ones. Treating yourself well is a must, and I hadn't realized until this mirror challenge that looking at yourself and knowing yourself goes into treating yourself well.

I've also learned to focus on looking at the right things. American society is so preoccupied with looks and appearances; a lot of people look in the mirror, but instead of seeing beauty and the capacity to create and love, see fine lines, wrinkles, flaws.

So, now that I am able to look at my reflection again, I feel very blessed to know what I look like and have started to love my facial features and expressions more than before. I don't mean it in a vain way--I mean it in the healthy way. (Would you rather go through life filled with self-loathing, or with a sense of sound self-love?) I think that, especially in this culture that we exist in, it is helpful to take away something first in order to appreciate it more later.

And now I encourage you, dear reader, to try it. Can you make it through a week without looking at your own reflection? How do you think mirrors have impacted your life? What will you learn?

If you do the mirrors challenge and reflect on it on your own blog, please share the link to your post in the comments below. And if you have any initial thoughts about what I've shared with you today, please let me know about them as well. Your opinions are so valuable to me!

Take care,
-Riley XO

The Examen

Good morning! This post is based on a chapter about the Jesuit Examen from the book A Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything: A Spirituality for Real Life by James Martin. It's a very thought-provoking book that I would encourage you to pick up sometime.

The Examen is a meditation that can be done by Christians and non-Christians alike, but please note that since I did this exercise based on my own perspective (which is a Christian one). However, if you want to try the Examen and are not actively "seeking God," the option is always available too.

With that said, here is a brief reflection on the Examen: talking a little bit about what it is, and how it was beneficial to me. I hope that it will encourage you to also try it for a while and that it will help you find a heightened capacity for gratitude, love, and growth. (What better time to start the process than during the hectic holiday season?) Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!
-Riley XO

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Ever since about sophomore year of high school, time became an integral part of surviving the day. School, practice, and lessons begin and end at these specific times; I need to sleep for a certain amount of time; this specific time should be set aside in order to work on a project. Time is necessary for planning a schedule, and schedules are in turn necessary for fitting in everything that needs to be accomplished in the day or week. Juggling the many aspects of life is a struggle for many people, who despite having improved technology find it harder to balance work, play, family, and friends. I for one could not make it without a weekly planner--imagine how many more assets I would have to keep track of in the future when work, and a larger family or friend group are added to the list. When people get in a perpetual cycle of plan, execute, plan, repeat, there comes a problem because soon life loses its spontaneity and therefore vibrancy and wonder as well. How does one preserve the treasures found day to day when life soon becomes reduced to a list of tasks to check off? Well, although it is impossible for us to stop time, it is possible to remove ourselves from time, to stop the perpetual cycle, take a break, and reflect on the magic of daily life that cannot be reflected in a schedule. There are several ways to remove oneself from time, such as through meditation, journaling, or prayer. The Examen is a specific type of daily prayer that allows someone to intrinsically pause time, reflect, and improve his/her mind and spirit; it is therefore encouraged.

 "In the Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius includes a prayer designed to enable believers to find God in their lives" (87). In a life where events, jokes, food, and friends are so tangible, it is easy to lose sight of the supernatural, which, while present, is not always completely in the forefront. The Examen is a prayer or meditation for Christians to realize the presence of God, to help strengthen the definition of an abstract deity. It is done in five steps: gratitude, daily review, sorrow, forgiveness, and grace (97).

Taking these steps allows a person to realize that God is indeed with him/her every day. After I began doing the Examen, I began to take note of the little blessings that had been dismissed before: the warmth of the sun, smiling at other people and seeing them smile back, the little squirrels prancing around campus... Each of these, although a small gesture, creature, or something that is always there, is a creation of God. This reflection has deepened my sense of gratitude for what I have been blessed with. Not just the little things, but especially for friendships, new and old, for attending a wonderful university, for staying in touch with my family, for the opportunities to be involved, and for knowing that I have plenty of food to eat and the chance to exercise. Being aware of these blessings have instilled a sense of contentment with my situation here at Creighton University, which has helped me remove myself from my schedule. Now, while walking to class, I am more aware of what is going on around me instead of being focused on reaching my destination.

Reviewing my day is also extremely helpful because it leads me to realize that my life isn't about finishing these tasks and sitting through hours of meetings. It emphasizes the fact that life is a story. There are highs and lows that make each day unique, therefore significant. It has certainly been beneficial to renew the feelings that I experienced throughout the day and has also made me more aware of others' various perspectives. Experiences play a big part of shaping who we are, and we have the power to influence what is occurring around us, so being aware of what happens each day, along with how certain events precipitated and some of the repercussions that may have arisen as a result, is important to becoming an individual graced with self-awareness.

Sorrow and forgiveness are two elements of the Examen that were more challenging for me. I guess that I have been aware for a while that my primary character faults are impatience and pride or stubbornness. Being reminded of these have helped me develop humility and understanding for others. I realize that my frustration does not help difficult situations, and am not starting to develop more patience and a calmer attitude, channeling the intense nature that comes from within to do something that is productive and good. While recognizing my sins and being able to ask for forgiveness is constructive, it is also slightly frustrating because there is a desire to improve daily, and can at times be difficult to remember that change is a process, and bad habits cannot be eradicated immediately.

Asking for grace for the next day, on the other hand, is a calming experience because it reminds me to live in the present; it also really helped me learn to calm down and enjoy what God has given me now, turning away from any worries of the future. So although I plan and make to-do lists, which are goal and long-term oriented, I have started focusing on what I can currently do to study and prepare, as opposed to fretting over how much a future test will cost. The Examen is a beneficial prayer because it is a removal from the grueling schedule of daily life. It reestablishes what should be valued in life, and stirs an appreciation for creation, love, and morality. It is certainly a positive tool for spirituality and can be used to add flavor and enjoyment. It has helped me refocus my attention on God in the midst of a busy college life and is a commemoration of each day. Martin was right in saying that it is possible to "look back" to find God (98).

Discipleship and Inner Turmoil

Hello there everyone!

Unfortunately I did not have time to film a YouTube video this weekend. My roommate used to travel to visit her boyfriend every weekend, but she just got a job and is now staying in the dorm a lot more, which makes it somewhat awkward to film because I feel guilty disturbing her. NaNoWriMo started five days ago, and I'm getting into the swing slowly but surely (so much writing, ahhh!).

There are also a couple of additional things going on in college that I added onto my palate this week, so I am in the process of adjusting, but I am determined to film a video for next week focusing on the first chapter of The Little Prince.

That being said, I recently wrote something for a Theology class that I wanted to share with you. This is an essay responding to the prompt: 

Based on Mark’s Gospel and EITHER Philippians OR 1 John, what does it mean to be a disciple of Jesus? Please present and explain the connection(s) between Mark’s gospel and the ethical demands of Philippians OR 1 John. Include an assessment of the practical implications of discipleship for Jesus’ followers today, possibly including a reflection on the tension between Christian life and “modern life.”

It was a challenging write for me, but here are the insights that I had. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to type away at the space below!

Have a wonderful week, and I hope you find this to be valuable or at least interesting.
-Riley XO

Note: the excerpt from Rolheiser is taken from the third chapter his book The Holy Longing. It is a fascinating read if you ever have time to pick up a little something.

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             Some people view the Bible as a manuscript for living. Although the Bible actually encompasses a variety of genres, it is undeniably a helpful tool for discovering God's plans for his disciples. The Gospel of Mark gives a narration of Jesus' life, but also highlights parables that exemplify the image of an upright disciple. First John then builds upon Jesus' commandments, providing further insight regarding the proper lifestyle for disciples, embellishing on the parables in a straightforward manner. An interesting implication arises, however, when both Mark and First John express that disciples will be persecuted by the world for following God. With further examination, turmoil ultimately coincides with discipleship in the modern context.

            In order to understand the meaning of discipleship, it is first necessary to understand the Kingdom of God, which is a common theme throughout the New Testament. From early on in his teachings, Jesus is already proclaiming that "The Kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" (New American Bible, Mark 1:15). The concept of the Kingdom of God is developed throughout the New Testament, and essentially comes to define the community of Christians who follow Jesus' teachings and love one another, and the Kingdom of God is spread through Jesus' disciples, as explained by the Great Commission (NAB, Mark 16:15). Perhaps one of the most descriptive parables for discipleship in Mark comes from the Parable of the Sower, in which Jesus explicitly states that "those are they that were sown upon the good ground; such as hear the word, and accept it, and bear fruit, thirtyfold, and sixtyfold, and a hundredfold" (NAB, Mark 4:20).  The soil in this parable is most significant because it predetermines the seeds' success. According to Mark, therefore, disciples of Jesus are nourished with "good soil."

            What is an example of good soil, and what must a disciple do to ensure that s/he is in good soil? Jesus answered this question, saying, "Whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it" (NAB, Mark 10:15). Accepting a set of beliefs as a child would goes against instinct, especially after a human has developed rhetorical and logical skills with adulthood. To adults, children seem naive and too trusting. However, it is exactly this innocence and acceptance that Jesus values. Children tend to look for good in the world. Rather than looking down at others, they look up because they realize that they are not the strongest, the wealthiest, nor really even capable of surviving on their own. They  listen and learn quickly; their perspectives are malleable, constantly adjusting to new information. Good soil is having such openness of a child, and the plant begins to grow when the seed realizes that it is dependent on God.

            When the seed has taken root and has the nutrients to flourish, it then bears fruit. First John develops discipleship further by explaining what "bearing fruit" is, revealing that "everyone who acts in righteousness is begotten by [God]" (NAB, 1 John 2:29).  A person living righteously can be interpreted to be someone who abides by the Ten Commandments, someone who loves his/her neighbor as him/herself, or someone who follows Christ's example. The last of these would probably be the most suitable interpretation due to the latter part of the verse above. Doesn't it make sense that the disciple following Christ's example is, in a sense, "begotten by God"? Turning again to Mark, it is possible to understand what the correct image of living righteously should be. Jesus showed compassion to the persecuted, healed the sick, and loved the poor. He also taught the people around him to express agape (love) for one another, and empowered the Twelve Disciples to also heal and perform miracles. Therefore, in order for disciples to be considered as "begotten by God," they must also act with this selfless agape. The fruit that disciples bear is essentially the good that ripples out from sharing agape with the Christian and surrounding communities, which is analogous to spreading the Kingdom of God.

            So this rudimentary definition of a disciple of Jesus shaped by Mark and First John is simple, desirable, and straightforward. However, it is a matter of fact that disciples will be hated by the world (NAB, 1 John 3:15). It turns out that discipleship is not as wonderful as it seems, despite the Kingdom of God being the reward. What is it about following Christ's example, that persecution is the result?

            The obvious answer is that in modern life, Jesus' commandments do not coincide with what the world teaches. So naturally, modern disciples are distinctly separate from others. However, it is also important to clarify that persecution comes from the world, and not necessarily other humans. Because disciples are originally born of the flesh before they are "born again" in God, perhaps persecution does come from within the disciples themselves. In order to better conceptualize this abstract idea, Rolheiser establishes that balancing a strong sense of personal integrity, social justice, a peaceful heart, and community with others --all components of being "begotten by God"-- is challenging (Rolheiser 56).  Rolheiser demonstrates with four examples that imbalance is accompanied by personal distress and/or disapproval from both Christians and non-Christians. Disciples must wrestle with inner turmoil trying to attain balance to lead a godly life, a process that is emotionally taxing. And since the great, harmonious, perfect image of God is beyond human capacities, the process of inner turmoil is, in a sense, permanent.

            Being a disciple in the context of Mark and First John presented challenges especially in the early church since Christians were actually physically persecuted. However, such persecution in contemporary life has taken a different form as modern disciples are bombarded with a fast-paced lifestyle that heightens stress and often blurs lines between what is right and wrong. Conflict between disciples and the world, which is integrated both into society and the disciples themselves, makes it a challenge to follow Christ as a child would; however, true disciples of Jesus persevere in order to bear fruit and spread the Kingdom of God.

Are You A Fish?

From Albert Einstein himself:

Image found on Facebook.

With the quotation above in mind, I'd like you to ask yourself three questions today:

• What are your strengths? 
• What are your limitations?
• Are they really limitations?

Take care,
-Riley XO

Finding the Good In Every Day

Hello there! How has your week been? Personally, my week had its ups and downs, but that's how life goes, isn't it?

thethingswesay.com

On the rocky days, it's easy to let it get you down, but if you look out for the good, it gets brighter. I went to an Enneigram workshop last week, and the presenter brought up this concept that organized a common saying in a really swell way:

1. There are things you can't control.
2. There are things you can influence.
3. There are things you can control.

She then flipped to the next slide.

1. You cannot control others.
2. You can influence situations.
3. The only thing you can really control is yourself.

(On a side-note, if you don't know your Enneigram, there will be more to come in the future...)

Just think about it for a bit. 

What will you make out of your situation and life today?

Take care,

-Riley XO

P.S. 

This post was fairly brief because there are some big midterms looming ahead of me that I really need to focus on. There is a lot of studying to be done! I'll be doing something slightly different this week since I know many of you guys who read this blog are also students whose work loads are also picking up. I'll be making short posts like this one, but twice a week instead of once a week for the next two or three weeks. Please subscribe for that little bit of stress relief during an intense period of time this semester! And good luck with school, work, and everything you set out to accomplish!

Smile on.

Making New Friends (For Introverts!)

Hello everybody, I hope you're having a wonderful week as always. I have a super long post in store for you today, so I'm just gonna cut to the chase right away. There is a lot to say on this matter, but I'm writing this with the purpose of providing a starting place for making new friends. This post includes two main parts: The first will hopefully get you to think about how you interact with others and provide some inspiration; the second will have my best tips for breaking out of some of those shells that you may have. And without further ado, let's get started!

A little bit about myself: I don't know if you can tell from this blog or not, but I am actually a pretty introverted person. I mean, I don't get butterflies in my stomach when I think of social interaction, but I do find myself getting overwhelmed fairly quickly while in a group of more than six people. That being said, God did create us to be in the world to interact and enjoy each others' talents, expressions, and company. I think of intoversion and extroversion on a spectrum. I'd say that I'm in the middle, though closer to the introverted side of the scale since I recharge by spending time alone reading or writing. But being with people stirs up a different kind of energy, which is also good in its own way.

Anyhow, there are a lot of times when I feel my shyness getting the better of me, and this post is for anyone who finds his/herself freezing up in certain social situations, or having a hard time making friends. It's okay to be on the quiet or shy side, but it's no good if it gets in the way of you pushing your limit and being surrounded by people who may come to be some of your best friends!

In order to illustrate my point, here is a video by Matthew Hussey that I think you'll find to be interesting:

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

For me, there are components that I would agree with and ones that I would disagree with.

I would agree that the biggest obstacle that is in your life is usually yourself. Your own perceptions of yourself can really limit your capabilities. For lack of better words, I'll reference David Dark's The Sacredness of Questioning Everything:

The question I'd like to bring to language, my own and everyone else's, is the question of reductionism. Reductionism reigns when the words we use to give account of people and events serve only to reduce, degrade, and devalue human beings... This is a perversity we employ--perhaps it employs us--when we reduce a person to a "just" ("So-and-so is just a...") or a "nothing but" ("You're nothing but a..."), as if we've gotten to the bottom of all they are and will ever be (page 121).

Let's try combine the thoughts expressed by Hussey and Dark to conclude that we should avoid labeling ourselves and other people in order to make new friends, to learn and discover from others. In my experience, the people who really have trouble making friends are labelers--they either put labels on themselves or the people around them.

I personally am more guilty of the former. Have you ever been in a quiet mood? Where there's nothing wrong, but you just didn't feel like talking and wanted to spend time by yourself and think? I get in those moods frequently I recharge by relaxing by myself with a cup of tea or writing, not by meeting and greeting. Yet, when I attributed my quietness to shyness, I stopped making the effort to reach out to others. Because, well, that's just what shy people avoid doing.

I think it's also fair to say that we're all guilty of doing the latter--putting a label on someone else before having met them--one time or another. "Oh, that person seems really stuck-up." Or "It seems like s/he likes sitting alone, so I'll just leave him/her be."

Can you see how these presumptions limit not only ourselves, but the other person too?

Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say that we should shed all labels, though. Adjectives, actions, and experiences make us who we are, and being aware of these help us grow.

Say you're a shy person. Do you want to keep being shy, or do you want to change that? Or say that you're angry person. Do you like being angry all the time, or do you want to change that?  Say you made a mistake in your life. Do you want to be burdened by that forever, or do you want to move on?

What I'm trying to say is: Let words describe you, not define you.

There are also "positive" or "goal" labels. What does a goal label look like? Well, I would like to be labeled as caring, compassionate, empathetic, hardworking, friendly, approachable. Aren't these characteristics that we want to hear when someone is describing us?

Anyway, I wanted to focus on introverts today, so I'll get back to that now. The whole point of the speal above is that you really need to want to get rid of that shyness before you can put yourself out there.

So think about all the things you can gain in life--love, peace, shelter, brotherhood--by challenging yourself to reach out. Then ask yourself if it really is worth being quiet.

With the reflection component of this post over, here are seven tips for getting started with becoming a more outgoing and friendly version of yourself! I hope you find these helpful--if you have any of your own ideas or some feedback, please let me know in the comments!

#1: Force it.
I used to be really shy, guys--practically afraid of talking to anyone I didn't know. If this gives you a proper illustration, I carried a book around with me every day during middle school so that I would have it as an excuse to avoid talking to people during snack break. So when I arrived in college 5 years later, meeting people initially still felt like ripping fingernails out. However, I just had to buckle myself down and approach others, throwing out a name and a smile. It feels really unnatural at first, but if you practice it every day, it starts becoming habit. Don't overcomplicate it. Swallow the anxiety that's churning in your stomach, step out, and ask someone, "Hey, how's your day?" Whether you're in an elevator, sitting in a cafe, or happen to see a person you barely recognize, that's all you really need to get a conversation going.


#2: Join a group activity.

It is so much easier to form connections with people when you already have something in common. So, instead of working out by yourself at home, go running on the track at the gym. Or if you enjoy reading like I do, you could join a book club. It would also be fun to try something new. My experiment was joining tae kwon do, and some of my most influential relationships formed during high school were from the people I met there. (I met my mentor and first boyfriend through the tae kwon do school.)

#3: Invite someone over.
It doesn't even really have to be anything formal like dinner, either. You could just invite someone over to watch some reruns of a TV show you and that other person enjoy. Making that one step usually causes the other person (or group of people) to recognize you more easily and thus forms a stronger connection.

#4: Put some time into your appearance.
I feel somewhat shallow when phrasing it like this, but it actually does pay off to look good. Let's face it: when you look good, you feel good--it's just natural instinct! That being said, there are many ways to improve your appearance. Working out, eating healthy, treating yourself at the mall by buying a new outfit, applying some makeup--all of these are ways to help you look your best and then gain confidence in yourself.

#5: Remember to have some down time.
Putting yourself out there takes a lot of energy and while fun can be pretty draining. I spend my down time in my room, writing, reading daily devotions, and prayer-journaling. Sometimes I do stretches or sit-ups too, and face massages are always a nice treat. Another option would be writing an email to a distant friend, which not only gives you an opportunity to reconnect with someone but reflect on all the things you've been doing. Take some time to recharge by yourself so that you'll be up at your 100% when it comes to meeting new people.

#6: Be informed, and be aware.
Keep up with the news, read blogs (and follow this one!), and listen to NPR every now and then. Also be conscious of the movements happening around you, and pay attention to the conversations you're in. The more you know, the more you'll have to say.

#7: Don't get discouraged.
Let's face it, not everyone is gonna like you. It sounds a little cliche, but haters are gonna hate. Also, you may at first feel like the effort is not worth it if you don't instantly feel a connection with another person that you tried approaching. This shouldn't get you down, though, because once you start meeting more and more people, you'll find the right niche that fits you perfectly, where friends will love you unconditionally. It is a trying process, but just keep up at it and you'll be forming connections and networking in no time!

For some reason, silver linings popped into my mind at this point. So here is one from cauldronsandcupcakes.wordpress.com

So there you have it guys! A nice, long post about making friends if you're an introvert. I hope you found this inspirational and got you fired up and ready to start meeting new people. One last bonus tip: It's only awkward if you make it awkward (you'll know what I'm talking about if you run into one of these situations...and that wasn't meant to sound dirty!).

Thank you for visiting, and please feel free to leave a comment or email me at smilesnomatter@gmail.com! I write a post every Tuesday, so also remember to subscribe to my blog through Bloglovin' or follow me on Twitter so that you'll never miss an update. There are also options to follow Smiles No Matter on the right sidebar (email, RSS, and Google Friend Connect), so just choose what is most convenient for you. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I love blogging!

Take care,
-Riley XO

P.S. I saw the most adorable pug puppy on campus yesterday. She was absolutely adorable and was only two months old--I spent about five minutes petting and talking to her. So here's a quick picture to share some puppy adorableness with you!

Awwwwwww <3
petcollectionworld.com

Now whenever you have a bad day, just think about this warm, cuddly puppy. Smile on.

5 Ingredients of Inner Beauty

Happy Tuesday! I stayed up the other night with some of my friends to watch the meteor shower last week. Did any of you make wishes on some "shooting stars"? Let me know in the comments!

I've been thinking about inner beauty quite a lot ever since I read Bailey's comment in a previous post. The manner in which she phrased it was so encouraging and it got me all excited about writing this post, but then I had to stop myself. Because, well, what in the world is inner beauty? It seems like beauty (inner or outer) is something that we can recognize but cannot ever fully define properly.

I believe that inner beauty is essentially the health of your soul. And like physical health, there are many variables which affect the health of your spirit. Having a positive attitude despite adversity is a discipline. Putting others before yourself takes exercise. And training yourself to be confident (note: confidence and arrogance are different) is a draining process because you need to find what you are confident about. Then there are all of the factors that you are putting inside yourself, your diet. How do the books you read or the movies you watch impact your perspective on life? Do your friends and family give you unconditional love and support? Do you go to church?

There are so many components to inner beauty, and they are intertwined and complex--you don't even have total control over some of them!--so for today I decided to talk about a couple that really stand out to me. Many of the other "ingredients" will probably surface later on in future posts, so five of them is sufficient for now. This post will be guided by two quote-pictures (does anyone have a better name for these?) that I found on Facebook a while ago and have been saving for a while.

So with all of that said, let's get started!

#1: Love
There are many types of love. Someone could probably start a whole new blog discussing even just a couple forms of love. (I mean, I suppose there are already thousands of blogs out there about romantic love, so I wasn't even exaggerating on that statement.) I'm going to try to keep it as brief as I can on this point since there are four other ingredients to discuss, but the most beautiful people I know have a lot of love in their hearts. Love for what they do, love for the people around them, love for themselves, love for God. Mother Teresa's famous quotation is "Do small things with great love." And guys, when you have love in your heart, everything in this world become so much more powerful, so much more meaningful.

Genuine, raw love is the greatest blessing that mankind has. It seems rare because it is so easy to complicate. What inspired me to start fostering love in my heart is Mother Teresa's quotation above. To do this, I started developing genuine interest for other people. When I meet someone new, one of the first questions I ask is: "What is your passion?" And swiftly following up: "Why do you do it?"

Developing love also involves tearing down walls and misconceptions. Before, it was difficult for me to feel attached to other people because I'd been betrayed by those who I'd cared about. Walls were naturally built, as a way to protect the heart. And the tragedy is that although these walls screen out pain, they also screen out love. Each person may have their own reason to have built a defense mechanism, but don't let the pain caused by a few lead you to neglect the thousands of people whom you have the opportunity to help during your lifetime. And if you are dealing with pain or when you deal with pain in the future, it is crucial to remember that it is ultimately your own choice to let it crush you or fight it--ultimately becoming a more mature, able person in the end. 

"The heart is a muscle. When it is broken, it grows back stronger." (Unknown) 

Society also plays a role in our struggle to love. Society teaches the concept of a social ladder: one that successful people are to climb. There is this hierarchy, where those on top generally look down on those at the bottom. Talented people are applauded, while those with modest or "average" abilities receive no recognition. But instead of considering those around you in a vertical manner, it is better instead to think of all people--big or small, black or white, religious or not, male or female, rich or poor--on a horizontal spectrum. While it may be natural to compare this trait with that one,  it is very easy to start "stacking" traits up. So upon meeting another person, it has helped me a lot to recognize the fact that s/he has his/her own story, strengths, weaknesses, and tribulations. Each person does--even you. And I am trying think more to myself, "What can I do to make their day better?" and "What can I learn from their story?"

This sort of mindset is one to take on for a loving spirit.


#2: Honesty
To me, it seems that usually people preach about being honest when it comes to matters dealing with "white lies." Lying vs. telling the truth is definitely a topic of deep philosophical meaning, so that will have to be reserved for a future post.

Anyway, today for this ingredient, I wanted to focus it more on the terms of self-reflection. Some unhappy people I know are dishonest with themselves on opposite extremes. Do you know anybody who tends to put him or herself down? It's an unrealistic way to look at oneself detrimentally because each person has both positive and negative qualities. Confidence is an important feature of inner beauty, so it is important to recognize your good traits, the ones that make you unique and fun to be around. Maybe you're a good listener, or are always there to lend a hand, or have a nice smile.

There is a fine line between confidence, or arrogance, though. So while being aware of the positive qualities is essential, it is also crucial to maintain a sense of humility--arrogance is a negative trait.

#3: Truth
Here is a value that is distinct from honesty. Honesty is mostly about being frank with yourself and others--asking questions like "Did I mess up?" "What did I do well today?" and "What can I do better tomorrow?"

Truth is slightly different because it's less reflective and more active. Truth is something we seek. It's obtainable by filling up your mind, by drinking in knowledge and wisdom. Read books, question others' opinions, learn from what others have learned. Find truth.


#4: Respect
Does it seem to anyone like our generation is losing respect as a whole? We don't seem to respect our parents in the same way they respected theirs; gossip destroys friendships; a sense of unsettling pessimism seems to drive the conscience of many. Drug abuse is a form of disrespect to our own bodies, and it's becoming a major problem.

Respect yourself, respect others, and respect the environment.

Treat others as you would have them treat you. So give them the benefit of the doubt, share with them, help them if they seem to be going through a rough time--even if you don't think they deserve it--because who knows? Maybe you'll be the person in need of some care and respect in the future.

#5: God

Having a relationship with God is the most important ingredient of inner beauty because it ultimately embodies all of the other ingredients. Praying to him gives you a sense of peace because you know he'll take care of your problems. He has set a pure example for loving those around us and instills a spirit of sincere compassion. Find him, and you will find truth, unconditional love, self-sacrifice, and a fulfilling lifestyle.

 

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And there are five ingredients of inner beauty. I hope you have a wonderful week and I will blog again soon!

 

I moved here to college safely, and I just wanted to thank all of my friends and family of supporting me through this process, especially my parents. I am also so happy that you also had a chance to read a little bit about my experiences through the series Get Ready For College With Me. Please subscribe and leave many comments--I love hearing from you guys and am willing to discuss just about anything!

 

Take care,

-Riley XO

How To Love Yourself

Hello, hope you are having a marvelous Sunday! This post consists of a couple things I found online for when you're just feeling down--little reminders that you should trust and love yourself.

 

Without any ado, here are some ways you can learn to love yourself, brought to you by Tumblr:

 

The "mirror work" one amuses me because it's hard for me to imagine myself looking at a mirror and talking to myself one-on-one, but whatever works for you right?

...Moving on...

I've been thinking a little bit about the concept of "self" lately, and it seems like Jenna Marbles's video came out at just the right time:

Watching this was inspiring and encouraging for me, and part of it is from her honest and frank tone. (On a side note, I'm Riley, and I'm addicted to Jenna's videos.)

I do agree that people find out a lot about themselves while they're going through difficult times. When things are great, it's easy to be happy and go with the flow. But while fighting "the current," your attitude and reactions give a powerful message of who you are.

Hope this little mash-up of the outline and video worked out well and got you thinking a bit about yourself. What makes you tick?

I'm also wondering: How do you get through the rough times? How much do you think you have grown because of those trials? Please share in the comments!

-Riley XO

"I Still Love You, But You're Not Worth The Pain."

I found the following quotation from Ritu Ghatourey: "Moving on isn't about not loving them anymore and forgetting them. It's about having the strength to say 'I still love you, but you're not worth the pain.'"

While I was playing the second movement of the Carmen Fantasy, I thought about Jay. [Which is 0:00-2:20ish in the following video.]

I actually have trouble playing this part of the piece because it is in a minor key but my instinct is to play in in a major key. (I suppose that's why I end up thinking about him.)

I discussed a little bit about my motives to talk to Jay in this post, but finally on Monday, I had the courage to reach out to him. I saw him, tried to be friendly, and later texted him, asking if it were possible to talk sometime. Initially, he was willing, but when I revealed that I would like to try to rebuild our friendship, he began slamming walls against me. There are some striking parts of our conversation that leave me...confused.

Me: "Ok, here's what I've wanted to say: I'd like to try rebuilding our friendship and I don't think that the bad things from the relationship are worth hating each other for forever because I was the first relationship and we were still learning."

Jay: "...You deserve better than me. I am not worth being friends with... I'm a hateful, cynical person. I treated you like shit toward the end. I'm sorry; you deserved better. I read your story and was blown away by how well written it was. You're going to go places. I'm all for ending on a positive note, but you deserve far better than anything I'm capable of."

Me: "...I think that people are put into our hearts for a reason, and I believe that in your heart you are better than you have been behaving--that's why I liked you. I had faith in that part. To be honest though it's a very fragile belief, has been for a while...I don't think friendships/relationships are supposed to be about "deserving" each other, but learning from each other, and I am sincerely concerned about your well-being. I told you I forgave you, and I still do... I thought you were better and all of those actions were a method of coping."
Despite my words, however, he still declined.

creepypasta.wikia.com

Even now, I have trouble making sense of many things concerning our relationship.

Is it normal for someone to look back at his/her first relationship and feel...trifled?

Last night, I felt lost, like I had failed somehow. That somehow, if I had tried harder I would've been able to reestablish the connection with him or that somehow things would've all worked out, and we would've been able to show others that finding goodness even in a broken friendship is possible. Maybe, if I'd done better, he would've found the awesomeness that is inside of him, and that as a result he would never have made such self-depreciating comments.

gainesonbrains.com

But today I finally realize that those conflicts that Jay has are ones that he must deal with himself. He is the one who must live with himself for the rest of his life, after all. I truly do want to help him, but the best way I can help him right now is by leaving. (Is there even another option?)

It is so hard walking away.

I hope that things will start to look up for him, sooner than later. In the meantime, all I can do is pray. I might not be able to soothe his anger or give him a better perspective in life, but God can.

Thank you to those that have been with me through this, and I would also appreciate having your prayers for Jay and me as well, if it's not too much to ask.

I hope that you take away something from this story; it certainly has given me a lot to think about.

-Riley XO

Thank you for reading this post, and please join me on the magical journey of life by subscribing by email or Bloglovin'. I am still at such an early stage of life, so there will definitely be better things to report in the Diary label of this blog in the future, but otherwise I post many things that are inspiring, fun, or quirky and would very much like to share and connect with you the lessons I am learning in this adventure of a lifetime.

Submerged in Happiness Day Two: Music

Music. What kind of music do you listen to? Why do you love it? Well, there are many reasons, but here is a nerdy science video explaining a little bit about the neurology that's going on while we listen to music from AsapSCIENCE:

With technology, music is becoming even more prevalent than it has ever been--pretty much an established fact. I was thinking about this a little last night, and I am wondering how certain types of music can affect people's psyche.

If we are submerged in music that is dark, does it affect our personalities, and how?

In other words, is there a difference between people who listen to this type of music:

And this type of music?

(Sorry to shock you with the contrast, haha.)

I personally listen to the former type (plus some Christian rock and a little bit of Alternative), so the latter kind of freaks me out a bit, but I do know several people who constantly have it playing through their earbuds.

These friends are certainly still wonderful people, who are talented, and show kindness to others (which at the end of the day is a good chunk of what's important, right?), but I have noticed a different dynamic between us personality-wise.

Here's a question that I want to pose today: Does type of music affect our personalities, or is it our personalities that affect the kind of music we listen to?

Should we take caution in what we're putting into our minds music-wise, especially now that we can have it playing constantly through our computers, phones, and iPods?

web-savvy-marketing.com

K-LOVE, a radio station I listen to in the car, poses a 30-Day Challenge in which they encourage others to listen only to Christian music for a month, and see how their lives transform. People have given testimonials where they explain how their perspectives on life and relationships are changed due to the uplifting music that this genre provides.

Anyway, I just wanted to encourage a little bit of discussion today as a part of our mini-series called Submerged in Happiness.

What type of music do you listen to, and how does it affect you?

Please comment and subscribe!
-Riley XO

"Love Is So Short, Forgetting Is So Long"

The famous words by Pablo Neruda. [[Click here for the entire poem.]]

As of tonight, it will have been two months since I went through that period of heartbreak. These past months have been an absolute rollercoaster. I poured out a sea of sorrows through tears, shared a moment of triumph with 400 of my peers upon graduating from high school, started this blog, registered for college courses, spent time savoring precious days with the people who truly matter...

I still think about Jay often and wonder. No answers ever come up from such wondering--yet I cannot stop this perpetual cycle. I am compelled to talk to him, to try to make amends... I hope that I will have good news after conducting this discussion that has been planted in my mind, but hope in the good in his heart is so fragile at the moment.

Even if things don't give me a happy ending in this particular chapter, the lessons I've learned in these short two months are ones that I will gladly bear for the rest of my life.

I've realized that before, I wanted to be that girl who had it all together: witty, beautiful, musical, creative--basically well-rounded and perfect.

These past few months, however, I've come to terms accepting my imperfections and instead am starting to realize the wonder of God's perfection. This is sounding a bit like a cliché "Let's Love Jesus!" book, but God's perfections are manifested in my imperfections. And it takes my breath away.

I'm still praying for strength. God has already graced me with a sense of peace that is in my heart most of these days. Yet I must continue pray for courage to be able to face my fears, to stop focusing so much on myself (my comparatively petty problems) and instead give love to all the other billions of people that share this planet with us.

Thank you for reading this post, and lease join me on the magical journey of life by subscribing by email or Bloglovin'. I hope I'll have good news to report here in the Diary Label when it comes to salvaging whatever pieces are left of Jay and my once powerful friendship, but otherwise I post many things that are inspiring, fun, or quirky and would very much like to share and connect with you the lessons I am learning in this adventure of a lifetime.

Take care,
Riley XO

7 Things To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

Hello everybody! Fancy seeing you here again. Have you ever had a day off and just wanted to spend it by yourself? Alone time is great--it can be so relaxing and spiritual if spent well. But sometimes I find that when I have such "alone time," I end up sitting in front of the TV for a few hours too long. It almost inspires a sense of guilt in me, because watching TV stimulates even less of your brain than sleep does! While it's a nice break every-so-often, it's not an ideal way to spend a lot of time doing, right?

Well, here is a brainstorm of quick, doable ideas that you can use if you're bored and would like to spice up your day. Enjoy!

1. Call up an old friend. Remember those good ol' days in high school (or middle school, depending on your age)? Well, contact your friends! Just talk to them, ask them what they've been up to, wish them a good day. Maybe you could even schedule a fun time with a couple of these friends to reconnect. Here is a quick list of 8 things you could do!
2. Lose yourself with a pen and paper. Okay, this one's easy for me to say because I love writing and try to do it every day. Writing is cathartic. It helps you sort through your thoughts, channel emotions, and gets those juices in your head flowing. I recommend writing a journal entry, poem, or short story. But if writing isn't your "thing," you could always try drawing something too. :)
3. Go for a walk. Just be one with your environment. Enjoy the sky, the grass, and buildings around you. If you happen to have a dog, walks are all the more fun--Blizzard (my little doggie) loves going to the park, and seeing him that happy brightens my day.
4. Start a 30-Day Challenge. Not a bad way to fill up some of that spare time. Watch this video for a bit of inspiration to start a new habit or end a bad one:
   
   
   
5. Try a work-out challenge. I have been trying to conquer the "Abs on Fire" workout by Blogilates. My results are embarrassing (mostly consists of me rolling around the floor in pain while she continues on her happy way), so that's why I like to do this on my own.
6. Learn something new. Watch a couple videos on iTunes U (right now I'm watching a series of lectures on personal finance...boring, but helpful), or I also like Vsauce on YouTube for little interesting tidbits.
7. Treat yourself. Go out and buy some frozen yogurt or try a simple new recipe that's sweet and delicious. Here's a bit from Blogilates again:

So there is a simple list of possible activities you can do when you are completely at a loss. If you have any fun ideas, please feel free to share by clicking on the comment bubble at the top of this post!

Have a great day, and take care!
-Riley XO