The Virtue of Happiness

Hello there, how have you been? Last week, I had a philosophical moment in one of my vlogs, which is embedded here below. (It begins toward the end if you wanted to fast forward to there.)

I'm currently taking and introductory ethics course, and my professor describes the content as "learning how to live your life." She is probably one of my favorite professors this semester; she has a cat, loves clean chalk boards, and does her best to be kind to all of her students.

We're currently studying Aristotle, whose Nicomachean Ethics describes living a happy life. How does one define happiness? How is happiness attained? How do we know if a person has achieved living a happy life?

Well, there are many interpretations for the definition of happiness, but Aristotle says that it is essentially living a full life. His term for this sense of a flourishing life is eudimonia.

Although happiness can be attained through many ways, eudimonia is something much more distinctive. Aristotle would argue that humans are unique from all other things of the universe because they are able to practice eudimonia. Plants and animals live and experience pain and pleasure, but only humans can pursue a full life. Humans have a working conscience that sets us apart from the world. This is so important because this is our purpose. Since we are the only ones on Earth that can think intellectually, it is up to us to improve our knowledge constructively.

On Aristotle's terms, we must exercise rational activity in a virtuous manner. Basically, virtuous person will do the right thing at the right time for the right reason and in the right way. Virtue is done for its own sake, and good people exercise virtue for its own sake.

And what is virtuous can be pinpointed through the Doctrine of the Mean. (Mean as in average, not rudeness.)

Take confidence, for example. If you have too much confidence, you're arrogant. But if you don't have enough confidence, you will miss opportunities that you otherwise have the skills to attain. This could apply to nearly every personality trait, and it's unique to each situation or case.

There's something really harmonious about the Doctrine of the Mean. Do you think it's a good way to find happiness? Let me know in the comments below!

Take care,
-Riley XO

Making New Friends (For Introverts!)

Hello everybody, I hope you're having a wonderful week as always. I have a super long post in store for you today, so I'm just gonna cut to the chase right away. There is a lot to say on this matter, but I'm writing this with the purpose of providing a starting place for making new friends. This post includes two main parts: The first will hopefully get you to think about how you interact with others and provide some inspiration; the second will have my best tips for breaking out of some of those shells that you may have. And without further ado, let's get started!

A little bit about myself: I don't know if you can tell from this blog or not, but I am actually a pretty introverted person. I mean, I don't get butterflies in my stomach when I think of social interaction, but I do find myself getting overwhelmed fairly quickly while in a group of more than six people. That being said, God did create us to be in the world to interact and enjoy each others' talents, expressions, and company. I think of intoversion and extroversion on a spectrum. I'd say that I'm in the middle, though closer to the introverted side of the scale since I recharge by spending time alone reading or writing. But being with people stirs up a different kind of energy, which is also good in its own way.

Anyhow, there are a lot of times when I feel my shyness getting the better of me, and this post is for anyone who finds his/herself freezing up in certain social situations, or having a hard time making friends. It's okay to be on the quiet or shy side, but it's no good if it gets in the way of you pushing your limit and being surrounded by people who may come to be some of your best friends!

In order to illustrate my point, here is a video by Matthew Hussey that I think you'll find to be interesting:

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

For me, there are components that I would agree with and ones that I would disagree with.

I would agree that the biggest obstacle that is in your life is usually yourself. Your own perceptions of yourself can really limit your capabilities. For lack of better words, I'll reference David Dark's The Sacredness of Questioning Everything:

The question I'd like to bring to language, my own and everyone else's, is the question of reductionism. Reductionism reigns when the words we use to give account of people and events serve only to reduce, degrade, and devalue human beings... This is a perversity we employ--perhaps it employs us--when we reduce a person to a "just" ("So-and-so is just a...") or a "nothing but" ("You're nothing but a..."), as if we've gotten to the bottom of all they are and will ever be (page 121).

Let's try combine the thoughts expressed by Hussey and Dark to conclude that we should avoid labeling ourselves and other people in order to make new friends, to learn and discover from others. In my experience, the people who really have trouble making friends are labelers--they either put labels on themselves or the people around them.

I personally am more guilty of the former. Have you ever been in a quiet mood? Where there's nothing wrong, but you just didn't feel like talking and wanted to spend time by yourself and think? I get in those moods frequently I recharge by relaxing by myself with a cup of tea or writing, not by meeting and greeting. Yet, when I attributed my quietness to shyness, I stopped making the effort to reach out to others. Because, well, that's just what shy people avoid doing.

I think it's also fair to say that we're all guilty of doing the latter--putting a label on someone else before having met them--one time or another. "Oh, that person seems really stuck-up." Or "It seems like s/he likes sitting alone, so I'll just leave him/her be."

Can you see how these presumptions limit not only ourselves, but the other person too?

Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say that we should shed all labels, though. Adjectives, actions, and experiences make us who we are, and being aware of these help us grow.

Say you're a shy person. Do you want to keep being shy, or do you want to change that? Or say that you're angry person. Do you like being angry all the time, or do you want to change that?  Say you made a mistake in your life. Do you want to be burdened by that forever, or do you want to move on?

What I'm trying to say is: Let words describe you, not define you.

There are also "positive" or "goal" labels. What does a goal label look like? Well, I would like to be labeled as caring, compassionate, empathetic, hardworking, friendly, approachable. Aren't these characteristics that we want to hear when someone is describing us?

Anyway, I wanted to focus on introverts today, so I'll get back to that now. The whole point of the speal above is that you really need to want to get rid of that shyness before you can put yourself out there.

So think about all the things you can gain in life--love, peace, shelter, brotherhood--by challenging yourself to reach out. Then ask yourself if it really is worth being quiet.

With the reflection component of this post over, here are seven tips for getting started with becoming a more outgoing and friendly version of yourself! I hope you find these helpful--if you have any of your own ideas or some feedback, please let me know in the comments!

#1: Force it.
I used to be really shy, guys--practically afraid of talking to anyone I didn't know. If this gives you a proper illustration, I carried a book around with me every day during middle school so that I would have it as an excuse to avoid talking to people during snack break. So when I arrived in college 5 years later, meeting people initially still felt like ripping fingernails out. However, I just had to buckle myself down and approach others, throwing out a name and a smile. It feels really unnatural at first, but if you practice it every day, it starts becoming habit. Don't overcomplicate it. Swallow the anxiety that's churning in your stomach, step out, and ask someone, "Hey, how's your day?" Whether you're in an elevator, sitting in a cafe, or happen to see a person you barely recognize, that's all you really need to get a conversation going.


#2: Join a group activity.

It is so much easier to form connections with people when you already have something in common. So, instead of working out by yourself at home, go running on the track at the gym. Or if you enjoy reading like I do, you could join a book club. It would also be fun to try something new. My experiment was joining tae kwon do, and some of my most influential relationships formed during high school were from the people I met there. (I met my mentor and first boyfriend through the tae kwon do school.)

#3: Invite someone over.
It doesn't even really have to be anything formal like dinner, either. You could just invite someone over to watch some reruns of a TV show you and that other person enjoy. Making that one step usually causes the other person (or group of people) to recognize you more easily and thus forms a stronger connection.

#4: Put some time into your appearance.
I feel somewhat shallow when phrasing it like this, but it actually does pay off to look good. Let's face it: when you look good, you feel good--it's just natural instinct! That being said, there are many ways to improve your appearance. Working out, eating healthy, treating yourself at the mall by buying a new outfit, applying some makeup--all of these are ways to help you look your best and then gain confidence in yourself.

#5: Remember to have some down time.
Putting yourself out there takes a lot of energy and while fun can be pretty draining. I spend my down time in my room, writing, reading daily devotions, and prayer-journaling. Sometimes I do stretches or sit-ups too, and face massages are always a nice treat. Another option would be writing an email to a distant friend, which not only gives you an opportunity to reconnect with someone but reflect on all the things you've been doing. Take some time to recharge by yourself so that you'll be up at your 100% when it comes to meeting new people.

#6: Be informed, and be aware.
Keep up with the news, read blogs (and follow this one!), and listen to NPR every now and then. Also be conscious of the movements happening around you, and pay attention to the conversations you're in. The more you know, the more you'll have to say.

#7: Don't get discouraged.
Let's face it, not everyone is gonna like you. It sounds a little cliche, but haters are gonna hate. Also, you may at first feel like the effort is not worth it if you don't instantly feel a connection with another person that you tried approaching. This shouldn't get you down, though, because once you start meeting more and more people, you'll find the right niche that fits you perfectly, where friends will love you unconditionally. It is a trying process, but just keep up at it and you'll be forming connections and networking in no time!

For some reason, silver linings popped into my mind at this point. So here is one from cauldronsandcupcakes.wordpress.com

So there you have it guys! A nice, long post about making friends if you're an introvert. I hope you found this inspirational and got you fired up and ready to start meeting new people. One last bonus tip: It's only awkward if you make it awkward (you'll know what I'm talking about if you run into one of these situations...and that wasn't meant to sound dirty!).

Thank you for visiting, and please feel free to leave a comment or email me at smilesnomatter@gmail.com! I write a post every Tuesday, so also remember to subscribe to my blog through Bloglovin' or follow me on Twitter so that you'll never miss an update. There are also options to follow Smiles No Matter on the right sidebar (email, RSS, and Google Friend Connect), so just choose what is most convenient for you. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I love blogging!

Take care,
-Riley XO

P.S. I saw the most adorable pug puppy on campus yesterday. She was absolutely adorable and was only two months old--I spent about five minutes petting and talking to her. So here's a quick picture to share some puppy adorableness with you!

Awwwwwww <3
petcollectionworld.com

Now whenever you have a bad day, just think about this warm, cuddly puppy. Smile on.

Establishing Who Is Right

TGIF! How are you today? Hope everything is going well. Today is going to be a short post because I'm finishing up another project in preparation for my black belt test--but I have started working on a post for Tuesday. I'll be starting a series that will give you a little more insight to my life as I write about the transition from high school to university. I also have some tips for any current high schoolers who plan to go to college, just from teen to teen. So if you have any questions, just send me an email or comment in this post and I'll try to answer them.

I'll be part of a service community in college, and they shared this video. It really spoke to me, and I hope it'll speak to you too.

Being surrounded by people despite differences and learning to be part of a community no matter who is in it...it's just so powerful.

What are your thoughts on this video? Please feel free to comment!

Have a lovely day!
-Riley XO

Submerged in Happiness Day Two: Music

Music. What kind of music do you listen to? Why do you love it? Well, there are many reasons, but here is a nerdy science video explaining a little bit about the neurology that's going on while we listen to music from AsapSCIENCE:

With technology, music is becoming even more prevalent than it has ever been--pretty much an established fact. I was thinking about this a little last night, and I am wondering how certain types of music can affect people's psyche.

If we are submerged in music that is dark, does it affect our personalities, and how?

In other words, is there a difference between people who listen to this type of music:

And this type of music?

(Sorry to shock you with the contrast, haha.)

I personally listen to the former type (plus some Christian rock and a little bit of Alternative), so the latter kind of freaks me out a bit, but I do know several people who constantly have it playing through their earbuds.

These friends are certainly still wonderful people, who are talented, and show kindness to others (which at the end of the day is a good chunk of what's important, right?), but I have noticed a different dynamic between us personality-wise.

Here's a question that I want to pose today: Does type of music affect our personalities, or is it our personalities that affect the kind of music we listen to?

Should we take caution in what we're putting into our minds music-wise, especially now that we can have it playing constantly through our computers, phones, and iPods?

web-savvy-marketing.com

K-LOVE, a radio station I listen to in the car, poses a 30-Day Challenge in which they encourage others to listen only to Christian music for a month, and see how their lives transform. People have given testimonials where they explain how their perspectives on life and relationships are changed due to the uplifting music that this genre provides.

Anyway, I just wanted to encourage a little bit of discussion today as a part of our mini-series called Submerged in Happiness.

What type of music do you listen to, and how does it affect you?

Please comment and subscribe!
-Riley XO

7 Things To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

Hello everybody! Fancy seeing you here again. Have you ever had a day off and just wanted to spend it by yourself? Alone time is great--it can be so relaxing and spiritual if spent well. But sometimes I find that when I have such "alone time," I end up sitting in front of the TV for a few hours too long. It almost inspires a sense of guilt in me, because watching TV stimulates even less of your brain than sleep does! While it's a nice break every-so-often, it's not an ideal way to spend a lot of time doing, right?

Well, here is a brainstorm of quick, doable ideas that you can use if you're bored and would like to spice up your day. Enjoy!

1. Call up an old friend. Remember those good ol' days in high school (or middle school, depending on your age)? Well, contact your friends! Just talk to them, ask them what they've been up to, wish them a good day. Maybe you could even schedule a fun time with a couple of these friends to reconnect. Here is a quick list of 8 things you could do!
2. Lose yourself with a pen and paper. Okay, this one's easy for me to say because I love writing and try to do it every day. Writing is cathartic. It helps you sort through your thoughts, channel emotions, and gets those juices in your head flowing. I recommend writing a journal entry, poem, or short story. But if writing isn't your "thing," you could always try drawing something too. :)
3. Go for a walk. Just be one with your environment. Enjoy the sky, the grass, and buildings around you. If you happen to have a dog, walks are all the more fun--Blizzard (my little doggie) loves going to the park, and seeing him that happy brightens my day.
4. Start a 30-Day Challenge. Not a bad way to fill up some of that spare time. Watch this video for a bit of inspiration to start a new habit or end a bad one:
   
   
   
5. Try a work-out challenge. I have been trying to conquer the "Abs on Fire" workout by Blogilates. My results are embarrassing (mostly consists of me rolling around the floor in pain while she continues on her happy way), so that's why I like to do this on my own.
6. Learn something new. Watch a couple videos on iTunes U (right now I'm watching a series of lectures on personal finance...boring, but helpful), or I also like Vsauce on YouTube for little interesting tidbits.
7. Treat yourself. Go out and buy some frozen yogurt or try a simple new recipe that's sweet and delicious. Here's a bit from Blogilates again:

So there is a simple list of possible activities you can do when you are completely at a loss. If you have any fun ideas, please feel free to share by clicking on the comment bubble at the top of this post!

Have a great day, and take care!
-Riley XO

Nice For No Reason

Hello everybody! Happy (late) Tuesday!

Quick shout-out to all the dads out there: Thank you for being such a major part of your kids' lives, and may God bless you as you continue to provide and protect your families. Also, good luck!

Well, today was incredibly busy. I had a five-hour shift at work and was surprised when my manager left me in charge of the store. Then I remembered that I'm eighteen now. My birthday was this past week, and I've celebrated it with a group of close friends and my family. It is so surreal--and suddenly here I am, getting ready for college!

As an entering freshman who is more than a little anxious about registering for classes this semester, I've spent some time on YouTube trying to take my mind off the stress. I am currently subscribed to Carrie Hope Fletcher, and just recently she posted this video:

This is a challenge I am taking upon myself, and let's see if you are up to it too!

I remember that once my friend also did a similar act of random kindness in our high school, touching the lives of the 2,000 or so kids that were in the building. It took a lot of writing and notes, but just seeing the morale of the school brighten up that Thursday morning made those hours spent on these little messages was beyond worthwhile.

Here's my idea for fellow incoming freshman--whatever university/college you may be going to. After the first two weeks of school, get a pack of sticky notes, write those nice messages, quotes, or pictures on them, leave them around your dorm, or campus, and just smile knowing that you may have brightened someone's day. Then, post them with the tag @TheHopefulNotes.

So if you're ever bored this summer, just find a pack of sticky notes and start writing positive thoughts. They could brighten someone's day in the future!

I'm planning to do this myself, and I hope you'll step up to Carrie's challenge as well!

Take care,
-Riley XO