Sunshine Award!

Hello, world! I hope life has been bringing you great adventures and wonder.

A dear reader and talented blogger, Envy, nominated me for the Sunshine Award last week. I actually nominated her for the Liebster Award a while ago, and one of my upcoming posts was also inspired by one of her comments, so this nomination truly means a lot to me.

Thank you so much, Envy!

The rules for the Sunshine Award are pretty simple:

• Thank the person who nominated you.
• Answer their questions.
• Nominate other bloggers.
• Contact them to let them know that they've been nominated.
• Put the award badge on your blog. 

So without further ado, here are my answers to Envy's questions!

1. What is your favorite book and why? My favorite book has got to be The Princess Bride by William Golding. It is just written so whimsically and describes love and friendship that lasts through many terrors, and it is the only book aside from The Bible that I can stand to read over and over again. It's just one of those books that inspires me every time I think about it. 
2. Do you have any hobbies that your friends think are ridiculous, but that you totally like? One weird hobby for me is probably being addicted to watching BubzBeauty and Bubzvlogz on YouTube. Bubz is an Asian beauty guru who grew up in Ireland and she's currently pregnant, so a lot of my friends kind of raise an eyebrow when they catch me watching (or if I make them watch with me) a pregnancy vlog or two. Anyhow, I started watching her videos while I was going through a breakup and stumbled upon her video "Secrets of Truly Happy People." It just warmed my heart to see such a genuinely happy person, and now she's the only YouTuber that I watch regularly.
3. What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? This is a tough question for me because I don't really feel particularly "embarrassed" since I'm pretty awkward overall 24-7. But I remember one instance during Taekwondo when I was sparring with one of my friends. I saw that he was going to do a back kick (his back kicks are wickedly fast), so I faked and moved out of the way. For some reason, my brain froze and I suddenly didn't know what to do, so I just screamed and charged at him into a clinch. He looked pretty confused, and my teammates and coach all giggled. My bestie teased sarcastically, "That's a great technique. Next time you don't know what to do while you're sparring, just tackle the other guy and hope for the best."
4. What would you miss most about blogging if you had to stop? I would miss you guys, of course! I love sharing my thoughts and inspirations, and I love that you're reading Smiles No Matter and that it is still growing. If I quit blogging, it would be like quitting on a part of my heart. 
5. Who's your biggest inspiration? There is only one person under the "People Who Inspire Me" section of Facebook, and that is Jesus. No man who has or ever will walk this Earth will come close to experiencing and showing the amount of love that Jesus did. His life, death, and wisdom inspire me daily to try to love with my whole heart and to have faith in his plans.

Today, I'm nominating:

• Keys 2 Change
• The Fence of Stars
• This is Nymisha
• Leyla Writes

I have been following each of these blogs for quite a while now, and it is an honor for me to nominate them. 

I just wanted to take this opportunity again to thank you guys for your readership and support. It is my prayer every day that Smiles No Matter will bring somebody else as much joy as it brings to me. The lovely comments you leave are so kind and inspiring. And this is why I'm nominating all of your for the Sunshine Award today too! 

Here are my questions for you all:

1. What is your favorite quotation?
2. Name one song that you listen to when you need to relax!
3. What are your feelings about Snapchat?
4. Describe a person who has picked you up while you were feeling down. How did this person bring you comfort or condolence? 
5. What is an activity you love doing with your friends?
6. What is your preferred mode of communication?
7. Do you believe in love at first sight?
8. What is one thing you wish you did more?
9. How has your summer been going so far?

If you accept my nomination, please link your blog in the comments or send the URL to my email at smilesnomatter@gmail.com so that I can see your answers! 

Also, I've been thinking of changing up the look of my blog this summer while I have a bit of spare time on my hands, but I would really value your input. I added a poll Sunday night on the right sidebar, but if you haven't seen it yet, please give me your honest opinion and feedback. You can also let me know your thoughts on the blog's look in the comments or my email as well. If I were to change it, I would probably change it to have a more modern, clean look.

Much love to you all.

Smile on,

-Riley XO

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

Good morning, world! How are you today? I'm doing okay overall. I had a job interview last week and am anxious for the results. I hope that I will be able to get this job as a chemistry tutor this coming fall, but I'm trying to tell myself that God will provide.

This morning's discussion is longer than usual because it's all about purpose--finding the right purpose in your life. A while ago, I had a conversation with a special friend about life. We touched a little bit on purpose, which kind of got the wheels in my head turning. Do you feel like you have purpose in your life?

It's basically the long-term debate in philosophy: looking for the right purpose. Aristotle said our purpose is to live a flourishing life in study. Epictetus believed that our purpose is to live a happy life by caring only about the things that truly matter (which are the things we influence). Mill thought that our purpose is to increase the overall happiness level in the world as much as possible, and reduce the amount of pain. (I often think of Mill as the mathematician of philosophers.)

We have books overflowing with arguments and ideas about how to live life, and these books fill the shelves of thousands of bookstores across the nation.

And yet, there have been times I hit that rut where I don't really know what to do. What is my purpose in life? When are some of the moments in your life when you've asked yourself this question?

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Here, I'm going to share with you my tips on what to do during these times, and also what I believe is my purpose. I pray that what you read will bring you inspiration and optimism as you think about your life.

Firstly, know that it's okay to not be okay. We recently finished a seven-part series studying a book called Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. An overarching theme in the book is that although winning is lots of fun, many of the most powerful moments in life come from losing. Losing and feeling empty can be precursors to growing and maturing. Life can be represented with a yin-yang. There is the good, the warmth, the happiness, the health. And in that very same symbol, there is the evil, the cold, the pain, the sickness. Both exist together, within each other. The yin cannot exist without the yang. If you accept the wins of life, you must learn to accept the losses too.

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I think that the modern society puts a lot of value in having purpose, in being happy. Society tells us to always answer "good" when we're asked how we are. Naturally, when we don't feel like we have purpose, we tend to feel ashamed, abnormal. But you know what? There's nothing wrong with having a bad day, week, month, or even year! There are many good ones to come. Remember to take the good with the bad.

Secondly, document your thoughts. I have personally experienced so many instances where I suddenly felt overwhelmed by absolutely everything. About a year ago, my cousin gave me this journal. At the time, I was pretty lame at journaling, so I made it my New Year's resolution to write something in it each day. This last January, I purchased another journal because it has been such a helpful tool for me to keep track of the daily thoughts, worries, praises, and events. In journaling, I've improved my time management, and sort of experience this sense of peace as I reflect. I do believe that part of our purpose is to enjoy every day that we're blessed with. One way to start appreciating every day is to write them down.

Thirdly, surround yourself with love. From my experience, the nuclear family has a powerful bond that you can rely on when everything else fails. However, while you can't choose your family, you can choose your friends. There are some people who will encourage you to do things that are against your morals or standards, and when you stumble upon people like this, run away in the opposite direction! Stay with the people who encourage you in the hard times, rejoice with you in your successes, and respect you even during your lowest points in life. Be with people who are also searching for and pursuing their own purposes. What's that saying again? "Birds of a feather flock together."

Fourthly, practice gratitude. Take some time every day to give thanks. While not every day may not be good, there is still good in every day. Find the good in every day.

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And now we arrive at the second part of this post, which is where I will be sharing what I believe my purpose is. As it is evident through this blog, I believe that my purpose is to help people find happiness in their lives. But this purpose is part of a greater purpose. I have come to learn that life's purpose is to love.

I'll have to admit that until about a year ago, I was a half-hearted Christian. I talked the Word, and I thought I knew all about what it meant to be a Christian, but now I realize how wrong I was. The Church says a whole lot about "Believing to get to Heaven." Now, I'm not saying that believing isn't important. It's just that I wasn't guided to know what to believe in.

I was taught that if you believe that Jesus died and rose for you, it was like getting this one-way ticket to Heaven.

While it was acceptable as a child, as I grew older, I had trouble seeing what the point was. To me, it sounded like, "Believe in this story, and this simple story will allow you to escape a hellish void that mankind deserves to remain in after this life." So what if I believed that this guy died for me? People die for people all the time.

Last year, I went through some of the worst experiences in my life. The one person that I thought I could count on didn't just let me down, but came back to make sure that he'd beaten me to the ground. I was later forced to leave my beloved home due to a set of unfortunate circumstances. Christianity as I had known it could get me far, but not through this.

Although the most painful events of my life (so far) happened that year, so did some of the most important lessons.

I learned in a whole new way that God is love. God is also an abstraction. For instance, think of your best friend's name. Now try describing your best friend. Do you notice, that as you continue to describe this person more, there only becomes more information that you left out? Each person that you know is so complex. As you think you start developing relationships with people, the more about these people you discover. Well, the same is true with God. But God is so much greater than people, the abstraction indefinitely more complex. As I learned more about God, the more I realized that God is so much more than a noun describing the omniscient, omnipotent presence that created the world. God is an action. God is love.

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Let's look at the life of Jesus.  A lot that my church did was talk about how much he showed up the Pharisees and the disciples with his wisdom and insight. "How wrong they were. How right he is."

A lot can be said about Christ's theological knowledge. But so much more can be written, studied, and shared about the way he lived. He lived with the people everyone else hated. He shared meals with the poor--and not just volunteered at a soup kitchen--he actually sat down and ate with them, like they'd been friends forever.

A man asked Jesus, "What is the greatest commandment?" And Jesus answered, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12).

He calmed the storms of people's hearts, healed the dying, comforted the weary. His life was so full of love as he lived the greatest commandments.

And then his death.

I cannot imagine a stronger example of true love than Christ's death.

It's the innocent sacrifice in exchange for the tainted, the lamb to the slaughterhouse. His death was pure. But as I thought about it, I came to realize that Christ did not die only for the people who would eventually come to believe in him a couple thousand years later. He died for all mankind. Even the sinners. Even the people who hated him. Even the people who killed him. He suffered knowing that from these people who tortured and crucified him, he would gain nothing in return. And yet--he still suffered for them.

When I look at Jesus' life, death, and ascension, I see purpose that is not only worth living for, but dying for. And that is why I am inspired by the Word to seek love, and to share it with others.

The beautiful thing about love is that it is shown through small gestures and huge, grand ones. Although I don't think I am capable of doing great things alone, I know that I can do small things with great love. This is how I want to live. Love is what I'll hold on to.

Smile on,
-Riley XO

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn Conclusion

Hi there, everybody! I'm going to start this post off with a big thank you to everybody who's been reading this series and commenting on the posts. It has meant so much to me! And I also thank John C. Maxwell for his inspiring words and stories in his book Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn.

Visit John C. Maxwell's leadership blog here.

This was the first time I've done a little "book journey" on Smiles No Matter, and reading Maxwell's book was a good start to hopefully do more book journeys in the future with you guys. I've learned a lot and have started thinking about my worth as an individual and what I want to take out of life on a wider scale. Also, doing this has allowed me see a new perspective on life and happiness, so I have many new ideas for the future!

Thinking about life can get pretty heavy for some, but as we come to a state of maturity, it isn't all that bad anymore. Instead of seeing failures, pain, and sorrow, we also are able to see the lessons that come with them. I also think that going through hard times leads us to appreciate the good things that we would otherwise take for granted.

Let's have a brief glance over the topics we've covered in this series:

1. Humility: The Spirit of Learning
2. Reality: The Foundation of Learning
3. Responsibility: The first Step of Learning
4. Improvement: The Focus of Learning
5. Hope: The Motivation of Learning
6. Teachability: The Pathway of Learning
7. Adversity: The Catalyst for Learning
8. Problems: Opportunities for Learning
9. Bad Experiences: The Perspective for Learning
10. Change: The Price of Learning
11. Maturity: The Value of Learning

Now with the entire series done, here are some questions I have: 

• What was your favorite part about learning about learning? 
• In Maxwell's final chapter, he says that life isn't about winning, but about learning. Would you agree with his statement? Why or why not?
• Of these past weeks, have you experienced any growth from self-reflection and thinking about the challenges you've faced in life?

Please let me know your answers in the comments below!

As for myself, reading this book has inspired me to learn to appreciate more in life. I personally went through a series of unfortunate experiences last year, and reading this and reflecting upon it has helped me learn to live with the pain and move on. It's also helped me find more patience and poise when dealing with myself. 

I wouldn't say that this is the best book in the world, or that I would never have found what I did without reading it--but it is a handy guide and an easy read for anyone looking for a bit of light self-improvement. It's pretty basic, so it's a good place to start. 

Thank you again for joining me on this journey, and please comment and subscribe for future updates!

Smile on,

-Riley XO

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn (VI)

Hello, everybody! Since I was busy celebrating the Fourth of July last Friday, I am posting my reflection on the eleventh and twelfth chapters from John C. Maxwell's Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn today. This week, we are looking at change, the price of learning, and maturity, the value of learning.

Quote of the week: "One of life's important questions is 'Who am I?' But even more important is 'Who am I becoming?'" (John Maxwell).

I had to appreciate Maxwell's chapter on change because I discussed it a bit on last week's post on dealing with stress (funny how a lot of things can tie in together). Change comes in different forms, but as I read through his words, I thought a lot about change of heart and attitude.

There is a quotation by Charles R. Swindoll that says, "We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude."

This is one major theme that comes up in philosophy. I actually wrote on change of attitude a while ago in the post "Finding the Good in Every Day." Change is a difficult subject to write about because it is often triggered by something, and it is also often unexpected. So, how do we conscientiously change ourselves to become better people?

Well, a lot of this comes with everything we have been talking about so far in the series. It's about being open-minded and aware, embracing your life (whether you're in a good part or bad), accepting that you're not perfect, and resolving to grow stronger with every step you take. It's about looking for feedback. What could you do to be a better friend, co-worker, student, boss, sister, parent? It's never losing sight of hope, and remembering that although your situations may be bleak, you still have the choice to keep going--to keep pursuing happiness, love, and joy.

I often associate a positive change in attitude with finding peace in one's heart. For me, a person who has found peace carries a sense of dignity in his or herself. S/he accepts both the good and the bad with grace and esteem, like a warrior who is prepared for anything and everything at all times.

Maxwell focuses on change in the more general sense. What changes must we make in our lives? Change yourself; change your attitude; change your nongrowing friends; determine to live differently than average people; and unlearn what you know so you can learn what you don't know (189-194). Basically, be in an environment that fosters growth, innovation, and sincere desire to make the world a better place. It all starts in your own heart.

As change occurs, maturity is reached. Maxwell says to keep in mind the following truths if you long to gain the true value of learning (199-208):

1. Maturity is the result of finding the benefit in the loss.
2. Maturity is the result of learning to feed the right emotions. I personally think about my high school Geography teacher whenever this idea comes up. I was pretty shy my freshman year, and before I had to present to the class, she told me not to let it get in my way. Even if you're having a bad day, you just need to put on a smile, and sometimes force yourself to be positive and do the right thing. Even if it meant faking it for the time being, these actions would come to define character. Sometimes, you need to work backwards to find happiness.
3. Maturity is the result of learning to develop good habits. What are some of the habits you've established to reach your goals?
4. Maturity is the result of learning to sacrifice today to succeed tomorrow. (Sacrifice is a pretty scary word for us these days, but it's a must. I'll discuss this in a future post!)
5. Maturity is the result of learning to earn respect for yourself and others. (I'm also planning to discuss this in the future, so stay tuned!)

So look at yourself, and compare who you are now to the model of maturity. What are you going to change today?

Smile on,

-Riley XO

P.S.

Thank you for reading! The last post for the series Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn will be out on Friday at the usual time. Please don't forget to comment and subscribe! I look forward to seeing you again and have a great day!

5 Ways to Deal with Stress

Greetings, everyone. July is already here, and although there is still quite a bit of summer left, I've already found myself preoccupied with making arrangements for this coming school year. I suddenly began making a small hill of stress as I began piling up my plate with more challenging classes, finding a position working in a health psychology lab, taking a leadership role in the university's neuroscience club, and landing a new job. I am so ecstatic to be starting each of these new things, but as I begin to think about my leisurely schedule freshman year, I feel this little shadow of anxiety and doubt creep on when I consider what it could be like participating in these activities in addition to my previous routine of taekwondo training, writing, music, and chilling with friends...

But I guess, being a workaholic of sorts, this coming school year's schedule isn't what concerns me the most. 

No, it's thinking about how expensive medical school will be in the (relatively) very far future. 

...Say what?

So, yeah. I've just realized that I am experiencing some anxiety.

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And I can be sure that many of you out there are facing it, or will be facing it soon. (If my list stirred any stress in my fellow students out there, I'm so sorry!) Some of my friends are taking on the responsibilities of owning apartments for the first time, some have just started new jobs, some are getting ready to apply to college, some are moving out of home. Most are looking at major changes in their lives. Are you experiencing or anticipating change right now? 

Often, change (even just thinking about change) brings on some anxiety. Of course, how you feel depends on both your situation and personality, but here are my top five methods to mitigate the stress; I hope one, two, three, or all of them will work for you! 

1. Don't worry about tomorrow. This may sound a bit cliche, but cliches do exist for a reason. (Is it cliche to say that too?) If you just focus on what you can do today, and then do your best to finish all of those things with as much energy you can muster now, trust God and yourself that tomorrow will also be a good and productive day. 
2. Remind yourself why you're doing what you're doing. The end result should ultimately be because it makes either you or another person happy. Stressed about an internship? You'll need that internship to ensure a good job to be able to take care of yourself and your family. Nervous about moving out? You need to do it so that you can find your independence, your freedom. 
3. Focus on the positives. Hopefully, this will tie into #2 at least a little bit because if your reasons for doing something are all negative, is there really a point in doing it? But now try extending that aura of goodness to the rest of the change occurring in your life. These new challenges and experiences are opportunities to learn and grow. Focus on the lessons you'll learn, the friendships you'll form, the character you'll develop, and the new memories you'll make each day as change takes place. 
4. Get active. Those of you who've been with me for a while now may have seen this one coming, but there are few things that center and calm me as well as physical activity. I've done a variety of exercise, from high intensity running and circuits--to relaxing, meditative yoga. No matter what form the activity may take, try dedicating a couple hours a week to it and see how much it'll improve your determination and focus in all aspects of life!
5. Remember this blog's title. Don't underestimate the power of your smile! Seriously, just smile for a second. Now hold it for five seconds: one, two, three...four...and five! How do you feel? 

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How do you deal with stress? Let me know in the comments below. Don't forget to share and subscribe!

Smile on,

-Riley XO

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn (V)

Hello, hello! I apologize for failing to post last week for our series, but it's great to see you here today! We're currently on Chapters 9 and 10 in John C. Maxwell's Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn in our series, which focus on dealing with problems and bad experiences.

"Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes is what is called experience" (Denis Waitley).

Have any of you ever had to deal with huge, snowballing problems that Maxwell describes? Accurately assessing and then dealing with problems is just what everybody needs to do in order to lead successful lives and grow. They're a part of daily life, so learn to enjoy facing them; enjoy the journey toward a goal (yep, I'm thinking of The Alchemist).

Maxwell's way to successfully overcoming problems and learning from them are (153-156):

1. Anticipate. Be ready for something to be challenging as you go into something. 
2. Communicate. Don't be afraid to talk to people about your problem--oftentimes, problems involve other people from relationships to collaborating on a group project.
3. Evaluate. When it comes to evaluating a problem, more problems can arise when we overestimate or underestimate it. So taking all the facts in with a grain of salt is crucial to solving the problem efficiently.
4. Appreciate. What would life be like if we could all be successful winners without ever having to work for anything? It's ostensibly nice, but just think about it for a moment. 

Maxwell compares running into problems with an eagle flying in turbulent winds. Turbulent winds cause the eagle to fly higher, they give the eagle a larger view. Turbulent winds lift the eagle above harassment. Turbulent winds allow the eagle to use less effort, turbulent winds allow the eagle to stay up longer. Turbulent winds help the eagle to fly faster (156-157). Be like the eagle and soar to great heights as you address every problem that comes your way.

Although we do our best to get through our problems, we still run into bad experiences. I've sure had my share of poop thrown at me, and although we face different forms of pain you've probably had a bunch of lame things happen to you too. It is so easy to let certain bad experiences get you down, but it's during these moments that our strength shines out the brightest. 

Maxwell believes that the most important thing to do during a rough time is to put your losses into perspective (162-171).

• Accept your humanness. Nobody is perfect.If something bad happens, it's not because you messed up worse than your friends or that you did anything inadequately. Life has its ups and downs, right? So as we relish and bask in the ups, we need to learn to at least accept and maybe even appreciate the downs. 
• Learn to laugh at yourself and life. At least try to smile. It'll make the biggest difference; try it yourself next time.
• Don't base your self-worth on a bad experience, don't feel sorry for yourself, and consider your failures as a process to learn and improve. It's kind of giving yourself a bit of tough love. Look at things objectively, and you'll be able to pull yourself out of the rut faster than if you mope around for days over getting stuck.
• Don't give up. Because you're worth it!
• Don't let your bad experience become worse experiences. I admit that I'm guilty of doing this. When I went through some hard times, I would often replay those events over and over again in my head. Instead of living my darkest days once, I ended up reliving them a countless number of times, and doing this caused even more damage. Maxwell also focuses on learning as the punches come. If you don't realize what you did wrong, you could end up literally reliving the same bad experience again and again in different forms.
• Let the bad experience lead you to a good experience. Darkness exists, and so does light. Find the light.

So this concludes all I have to say about Maxwell's ninth and tenth chapters. What did you think? Let me know in the comments below! Also, please subscribe to Smiles No Matter for future updates. Next week, we'll be studying the eleventh and twelfth chapters next Friday. Hope to see you then! 

Smile on,

-Riley XO