July 18, 2015

Love at First Sight?

One of you guys recently asked me if I believe in love at first sight. It was kind of interesting because, well, I've never really thought about it long and hard before. Certainly not long and hard enough to write a solid post about it yet. As I let it marinate for a while, I realized that there may actually be a lot to say about this...

It's a common thing to say "Don't judge a book by its cover," but let's face it: First impressions count. Especially when I reached college and started meeting hundreds of people (as opposed to, say, my middle school that only 60 kids in the 6th-8th grades), I've found myself liking certain people due this little feeling that I get when I'm around them.

Before I transferred universities, I hung out with these two kids, named Eric and Eric. Eric W. I met through a mutual friend, and our personalities just kind of clicked. We didn't think that we'd see each other around much until our friend groups melded together, and then we eventually became best friends--close enough that he was able to tell me some of his darkest secrets. The way I met Eric T. is a more interesting story, though. Basically, he dressed up as a fairy for Halloween, and when I met him, we just instantly became best friends. (He was in my new profile picture the next day. The legitimacy of our best friendship was pretty hardcore.)

There was another instance when I decided that I liked my Organic Chemistry TA the first time we talked. The conversation went a little something like this:

     "Hey, I forgot to staple my lab report."
     "That means you're gonna fail then!"
     "..." (I was thinking: This guy is either super cool or is the biggest jerk ever!)
     "Haha, just kidding! I'd never fail someone for a silly thing like that. Here's a stapler."

Simple as it sounds, it was right then and there that I decided that my TA was cool and maybe Organic Chemistry wouldn't be as bad as I was thinking it would go.

On one hand, I could list off a whole bunch of times when a positive first impression led to a good friendship. We can gain a lot of insight into a person from the first time we meet them, especially if we ourselves are willing to be open and vulnerable about who we are too. Actually, it's a known fact that the average American decides whether s/he likes his/her date within the first 20 minutes of the date.

But on the other hand, "Oh this person seems cool" is way different from falling in love with him/her at first sight.

I guess part of it depends on what you think love means. When it comes to romantic love, I think of it as dedicating yourself to making the other person happy. It involves seeing marriage in the future. And I'm sorry if I offend you in being extremely blunt, but being willing to marry somebody and being willing to make major sacrifices for this person you've just seen/met...it's a little crazy.

Seeing someone across the way and feeling a connection--that's a connection, not really love. It could potentially turn into love in the future, and if you have a feeling and reason that you should pursue someone, then try it and see where it takes you. But true love takes time. It takes time to trust someone, to place your hopes in them and to share your dreams with them. It takes time to show them how much you care and to learn about their character and flaws. It takes time before you can say to another person, "I'm ready to fight with you. Through whatever life throws at us, through whatever valleys we must cross. I'm ready to fight for you, even if you hurt me. I want to rejoice with you in your joys and comfort you when you weep. I'm ready to dedicate a big part of my life to you."

Long story short: Attraction at first sight? Undoubtedly. Love at first sight? Unlikely.

What do you guys think about love at first sight? I know there are some opinions that must be different from mine--I do have much to experience, after all! Please let me know in the comments below!

Smile on :)


  1. I'm going to be a freshman in college so i'm still pretty young, and I have heard people say they fell in love at first sight and as you wrote you believe it takes time. I agree with you, I believe love takes time. You may feel an attraction towards that person but you aren't ready to put everything on the line after you have just meet. I personally have my own goals I want to accomplish before marriage and i'm not going to put my life on hold for him, unless we compromise and that takes time to gain their trust and you gain theirs. But what do I know right?! I'm only a college freshman.


    1. Love at first sight is definitely hard to take a stab at! It is difficult for me to believe personally but it is because I've never experienced it firsthand, and I also don't know anyone who has experienced it. It is difficult to say that someone didn't really fall in love at first sight if that's what they're claiming, though. Who am I to say what's love and what isn't? It's some pretty interesting food for thought!

  2. Thank you for this post, it is wonderful. I completely agree that because of the nature of love, you cannot have love at first sight. I would add that in my opinion, love takes a lot of trust and so loving someone can take even longer if you have a bad track record with trusting people and getting hurt. Trust is huge when it comes to love in my mind.

    1. Trust is definitely an important part of relationships. Thank you for adding your opinion :)

  3. I agree with you. Love cannot just happen at first sight. It takes time, when we understand her/him, we fall in love and i think we can't understand anyone at first sight. I have also written about it in blog.


    1. Thank you for your comment, Gautam! I thought that the part that you posted in your blog, that "love is not a feeling" is so true. Love is so much more than that!

    2. Thank you for your comment, Gautam! I thought that the part that you posted in your blog, that "love is not a feeling" is so true. Love is so much more than that!

  4. Thanks for sharing. I hope it will be helpful for too many people that are searching for this topic. Keep posting and keep this forum a great place to learn things.


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