Tagged :)

Hi all! I apologize for failing to post last week. I actually started these posts but didn't get around to publishing them. See, I went on a trip a couple weeks ago...do you know what it's like to need a vacation from vacation? Well, I just needed a quick break from writing to rest up and recover from two weeks packed with adventures. With that said, can we pretend that it's last week so that this post makes a little more sense? Thanks, you're a great reader!

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So, Rcubed nominated me for the Liebster Blog Award a very long time ago. I actually thought about not accepting the award because I wasn't sure if you guys like these posts much (this is the third time Smiles No Matter has been nominated for the Liebster, yay!), but I just got back from a two-week-long vacation and wanted to do a more casual, simple post today. Also, I really enjoy Rcubed's blog and her questions looked pretty fun. Without further ado, here is Smile No Matter's 3rd Liebster acceptance! (To see my previous posts for the Liebster award, please click here and here.)

Thank you so much, R-cubed!

Here are 11 facts about myself:

1. I just got back from a cruise around the Baltics! I was gone for 16 days, and it was a great time to take a break from working and writing, but I actually blogged up a storm so that there would be scheduled posts for you guys while I was gone! The Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn series had a great start and I didn't want it to get cut off or forgotten, so I am so grateful for those of you that continued to read and comment.
2. This might sound pathetic, but I went to bed at 16:00 last night and woke up at 5:00 this morning, and then took an hour-long nap at 9:00. That was the most sleep I've gotten in the longest time! The crazy things jet-lag can do to a girl.
3. Yesterday was my birthday. I lounged around the house, watched all the missed Bubzbeauty videos, spent time with a best friend at Ikea (greatest store in the world), did some yoga, and went to bed super early after a simple dinner with my dad. It was pretty chill because we had just arrived back home the previous afternoon.
4. I uploaded a new video yesterday! One of my New Year's Resolutions for 2014 was to try vlogging; unfortunately, I haven't been able to stay very consistent for the last several months... I am back on it, though! My videos are admittedly a work in progress, but you've gotta start somewhere!
5. The yoga has been going well. I practiced a bit yesterday (first workout since returning from the cruise) and it was pretty great. I'm excited or my session today! If you'd like to try it with me, just check out this YouTube video. 
6. Other than yoga and writing to you, I'm stalking professors' websites for research opportunities, then have a night shift at work. Not such a bad day so far!
7. The previous six facts were kind of lame for facts because they've just been an account of what I've been up to recently. But the last four facts will be more fun. At least I hope they will!
8. My favorite shirt is this pink Calvin Klein...thing. It kind of looks like a bro-tank with an epic collar and it's really soft on the inside so I'm not even sure if it's supposed to be worn as a shirt or a vest, but I've been wearing it as a shirt...possibly every day this summer. 
9. Four of my friends and I are hoping to live together when we all graduate. We call our dream home "The Doctor Mansion" because there was a point in time when we all wanted to be some form of doctor or another (three PhDs, an MD, and a veterinarian). When we realized that we'd be practically broke upon graduation, we made a pre-dream home, which is called the Doctor Apartment.
10. I like visiting art museums. While I was on vacation, one of my favorite sites that we visited was the Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg. There is something about art that is so powerful and intriguing--paintings just capture things that elude other mediums, somehow. 
11. If I could choose to be an animal, I would be a dolphin. And I don't really know why.  

A "Favorite Shirt!" selfie for anyone puzzled by my bizarre description from #8. 

My responses to Rcubed's fun questions:

• Would you rather...only say random things or say nothing at all? I would rather say nothing at all. I'm pretty introverted and really only talk when I feel like what I have to say is relevant. So if the random thing isn't really relevant, being quiet fits me better.
• What's your favorite thing to talk about? Probably Christian theology. There is so much mystery and love that surrounds God, and every time I talk about him I feel uplifted and inspired.
• Which Frozen character are you most like, Ana, Elsa, or Olaf? Although a lot of people say I'm like Ana, I feel this weird affinity with Elsa. I don't know if it comes from being the older sister or my love for Let it Go, but I just have to go with Elsa.  
• Would you rather breathe fire or shoot ice out of your eyes? Why? I would like to shoot ice out of my eyes. It would make my death glare a lot more effective, hehe. 
• Finish the sentence: When life gives you lemons... sucks to suck! (Just kidding :P)  
• What's the nicest compliment that you've ever received? It doesn't seem like a compliment at first:"I love you." It's a compliment because love is such a powerful word. It means that the person who's said it is willing to put you before them, and what else can make anyone feel better than that?  
• What's the randomest thing anybody's ever said to you? I can't think of a single line, but the most random conversation I've ever had happened when I got in a debate online over whether vampires are real or not. It was truly random and flabbergasting for both sides. 
• Imagine you're a starving dragon in the dreadfullest winter anybody's ever seen in ages. You've dedicated your life to understanding and associating with people. Your motto is "People are friends, not food." Then you see a fat, ugly, evil guy walk by your house. What would you do? I would egg his car.   
• Would you rather be a contestant on a reality singing TV show, or a judge on it? Singing! I would sing Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons. 
• Would you rather be a terrible baseball player who makes a million dollars or a really good singer who only makes $100,000? The money doesn't matter so long as it's my passion. That being said, I tend to be passionate about things I think I'm good at, so I'd rather be the singer. 
• If you could jump into a book, what book would you jump into? Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Hogwarts just sounds like the greatest! 

I wanted to nominate a very special blog today called Journey for Jessi, written by Emily. I went to middle school with a wonderful person named Jessi, who very unfortunately passed away suddenly very recently. She was a person of great faith, had a vibrant personality, and was always there for the people who needed her. Emily started a new blog and made it sort of a tribute for Jessi. This was such a selfless act of friendship that I just had to share it with you guys. Emily shares a lot of recipes and gives thanks for health and many of the other things around her. Her first post gives us a glimpse of Emily and Jessi's stories. I hope you'll like it!

Here are my questions for Emily:

1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?
2. If you created a painting to express yourself, what color would you use the most?
3. What is your favorite movie?
4. If you had to describe your best friend in three words, what would they be?
5. What is the thing that you miss the most about your childhood?
6. What is your favorite article of clothing?
7. Would you rather be a mouse-sized elephant or an elephant-sized mouse?
8. Describe one of your role models.
9. Say it's Thanksgiving dinner. What are you most looking forward to eating?
10. What is one of your favorite memories?
11. What is your favorite quote?

I hope that you accept my nomination, Emily, and best of luck to you both in your writing and life!

And I just wanted to thank all of you guys for reading this! Have a lovely day!

Smile on,

-Riley XO

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn (IV)

Good evening, and thank you for stopping by. Today is Friday the 13th, the worst day of the year. How have you been surviving so far? Well, if it's been crummy so far, hopefully your day will get a little better with today's post. Even if you're not superstitious and your day has been great, I sincerely wish that this will be the little layer of glitter on the birthday card.

This week's post is special to me because it focuses on two parts of life that this blog is dedicated to inspire: daily appreciation and learning, and growth in the face of adversity. As you'll see, I really loved Maxwell's discussion on adversity and end up quoting him a lot today, so I hope you'll feel as inspired as I am after reading it. Please leave your thoughts and reactions in the comments; I look forward to seeing what you think!

Quote of the week: "Lord, deliver me from the man who never makes a mistake, and also from the man who makes the same mistakes twice" (William Mayo).

I personally believe that Maxwell chose the most underrated word for the title of Chapter 7 in Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn. "Teachability." What, Maxwell? To be honest, I actually wasn't expecting this chapter to be as cool as it turned out to be. "Teachability" sort of had this connotation of a pupil getting a lecture, or a dog capable of learning new tricks--but we know that life isn't like that! But actually, Maxwell is discussing a greater, constantly moving spirit of inquisitiveness, curiosity, open-mindedness, and consideration.

Teachable people have an attitude conducive to learning, possess a beginner's mindset, take long, hard looks in the mirror, encourage others to speak into their lives, and learn something new every day (109-118). So you see, teachable people are the ones who not merely able to learn, but actively seek to discover. From Maxwell's description, I picture a society living by Aristotle's philosophy built around eudaimonia (which is translated to mean a "flourishing life"), each person finding her/his whole life's worth, growing both from his/her own experiences and others' stories. Not a single day is wasted; every occurrence is valuable. People aren't just surviving, but thriving!

To become teachable, Maxwell gives us a road map from 119-123:

1. Prepare. John Wooden said, "When opportunity comes, it's too late to prepare." Maxwell tells us to take a breath "each morning or evening before thinking through what your day will be like and where the greatest potential opportunities lie for you to learn" (120).
2. Contemplate. Think about what you observed, read, and experienced through the day, and analyze what you can learn from any mistakes you made, from somebody you met, or from what you talked about.
3. Apply. It takes a lot of discipline to apply what you've learned. It's kind of like trying to find a way to use a word you've just learned in context. But those chances you get show what you've learned. 

In the previous weeks, I've just kind of picked one of the quotes from the reading to highlight as the quote of the week and let you guys digest it on your own. But I wanted to put in my two cents' worth this time because I think that this one is especially cool. Since it's so cool, here it is again!

Lord, deliver me from the man who never makes a mistake, and also from the man who makes mistakes twice."

Let's face it: Nothing teaches a lesson the way a mistake does. (What is life if not for the dichotomies of successes and failures, of love and evil, of jubilation and sorrow? You can't have one without the other, right?) William Mayo makes the point that it is okay to make mistakes--it is actually good to make mistakes here and there because that's how we grow. But it's making mistakes twice that indicates that we're doing something wrong. By following the road map above, we become fierce, unafraid of failure, and then in the wake of adversity, we will be ready to learn and discover.

Adversity. When was the last time you faced it? Perhaps you're going through it now? Well, here are some words to inspire you the next time it comes around: "Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and then become more extraordinary because of it" (Robertson Davies).

I would like to draw out an excerpt from the book to demonstrate the effects of adversity, in Maxwell's words:

There's a story about a young woman who complained to her father about her life and how hard things were for her. The adversity of life was overwhelming her, and she wanted to give up.
     As he listened, her father filled three pots with water and brought them to a boil on the stove. Into the first he put carrot slices, into the second he put eggs, and into the third he put ground coffee beans. He let them simmer for a few minutes and then placed the carrots, eggs, and coffee before her in three containers.
     "What do you see?" he asked.
     "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
     He asked her to feel the carrots. She picked up a piece and it squished between her fingers. He then asked her to examine an egg. She picked one up, broke the shell, and saw the hard-boiled egg inside it. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled, as she tasted its rich flavor.
     "So what does it mean?" she asked.
     "Each ingredient was subjected to the same thing--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrots went in hard. But after they were in the boiling water, they became soft. The egg was fragile with a thin outer shell and a liquid interior. But it became hardened. The ground coffee beans changed little. But they changed the water for the better.
     "Which are you," he asked. "When you face adversity, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
     Life is filled with adversity. We can be squashed by it. We can allow it to make us hard. Or we can make the best of it, improving the situation (131-132).

 

How can we be like the coffee? We look for the advantages of adversity by keeping these things in mind (132-142):

1. Adversity introduces us to ourselves if we're open to it.
2. Adversity is a better teacher than success if we want to learn from it. 
3. Adversity opens doors for new opportunities if we want to learn from it.
4. Adversity can signal a coming positive transition if we respond correctly to it.
5. Adversity brings profit as well as pain if we expect it and plan for it. 
6. Adversity writes our story and if our response is right, the story will be good.

In the wake of adversity, it is so easy to want to retreat, to want to go hide and mend the wounds. But we have the choice to keep going. But not to just keep going--to run right up to the adversity--and then to push straight through it and emerge back to the light stronger than ever before.

If we consider the six points above, we see that adversity is a blessing, but it is totally up to us to count it as one.

Bonus quote of the week: "Some people treat adversity as a stepping-stone, others as a tombstone" (Maxwell).

Smile on,

-Riley XO

Take This Summer to Learn Something New

Greetings, person of the Internet! How have you been lately? My life's been good and fairly fun this past week. Just trying to take each day as a blessing and enjoy myself. You may have known this, but I started a blog series that is like a book club on John C. Maxwell's Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn. Reading this has been inspiring me to start learning and letting go of the bad things that have happened in the past. I thought that Chapter 6 on hope really helped stir what needed to be moved inside of my heart.

Do you have that one thing on your list that you've always wanted to do? Some people want to learn how to knit/crochet, some want to learn a new instrument, some want to read the Bible all the way though, and there are others who want to learn how to dance, paint, or train to run. That one thing for me is learning yoga. I think I can be a pretty high-strung person at times, so I've found myself wanting to try learning a new, fun way to exercise that also contains some meditative qualities to help the soul. What's that thing for you?

My challenge for you this fine summer of 2014 is to do that thing that's at the top of your list of things to learn. If you don't find time to try it now, when will you ever get the chance to? There is no better day than today!

Need a little help with finding the motivation to do this? Grab a pen and this month's page in a calendar and follow these steps:

1. Write down your goal and why you want to reach it at the top of the page.
2. Check out your schedule. Where are some open spots, and what rearrangements can you make for trying this new thing? 
3. Make a plan. How are you going to learn this? Take a class to get started, or you can do what I've been doing with yoga, which is following some videos on YouTube. The Internet is a great place to find inspiration, and it also contains a ton of resources available to you--so take advantage of it all!
4. Write down the days on which you'll work on this new activity. It doesn't have to be a daily thing. Maybe you only have one or two days a week that are available. Whatever there is, use it for something productive and fun!

What are you going to learn this summer? Let me know in the comments below!

Smile on,
-Riley XO

mkalty.org

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn (III)

Hello, thank you for visiting Smiles No Matter today! This is our third week into our reading journey through John C. Maxwell's book Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn. To see the previous weeks' posts, please click on the following links and read up on those, because I think that they contain some blocks that build toward today's post:
    ~ Introduction
    ~ Week 1
    ~ Week 2

We are about halfway through the series so far! Reading this book has helped guide me in self reflection and I've found some parts of it to be valuable while I reflect on my past and consider how to go about my future. And I think that this series has been a lot of fun, so I'm hoping to be able to do another one based on a book again later on. If you have any book recommendations that you'd like to see on this blog, please let me know in the comments below!

Quote of the week: "When you cease to be better, you cease to be good. When you stop growing, you cease to be useful--a weed in the garden of prosperity.... We are what we are today because we were what we were yesterday. And our thoughts today determine our actions tomorrow" (George Knox).

This week, Maxwell is addressing the following question in Chapters 5 and 6: Why and how do we do all of this learning stuff, anyway?

Learning in the face of a mistake or tragedy is absolutely crucial, because during those times, usually there is very little good to draw out from them if not for the lessons we learn. However, Maxwell argues that learning should be an everyday thing, that we should try our best every day to make ourselves better. Why? Because we have hope.

I loved Maxwell's answers to the question, "What does hope do for mankind?" on pages 90-91:

• Hope shines brightest when the hour is darkest.
• Hope motivates when discouragement comes.
• Hope energizes when the body is tired.
• Hope sweetens when the bitterness bites.
• Hope sings when all melodies are gone.
• Hope listens for answers when no one is talking. 
• Hope climbs over obstacles when no one is helping.
• Hope endures hardship when no one is caring. 
• Hope smiles confidently when no one is laughing.
• Hope reaches for answers when no one is asking.
• Hope presses toward victory when no one is encouraging.
• Hope dares to give when no one is sharing.
• Hope brings the victory when no one is winning.

Hope is hard to define, but I would say that it's the little voice that tells you to keep going even when everything else around you is screaming at you to quit. I would also venture to say that hope is a sort of combination between love and faith. Losses lead us to question our own worth, so we need to find that love and courage to believe in ourselves despite the setback. We somehow find faith that there will be a better tomorrow despite the pain. This is hope.

Maxwell presents three steps to cultivate hope:

1. Realize that hope is a choice.
2. Change your thinking. (I really liked the excerpt from Who Says the Fat Lady Has to Sing?. What did you think of it?)
3. Win some small victories. 

Positive thinking helps us believe that we can do great things, and that belief in ourselves is all we need to move closer and closer toward our goals. 

Then, comes the doing. There is a method to learning. First, we must develop our senses of hope, humility, and responsibility. Then comes the actual learning, right? Maxwell makes a pretty self-evident point that the focus of learning is improvement (88). It sounds like an obvious thing, but sometimes we need the reminder every now and then. Have you ever asked yourself why you do something? Well, let's hope you do it because you believe it makes you better in one way or another--otherwise, why would you be doing it? 

Improvement is something that does not come easily. Improvement in all aspects require us to move our of our comfort zones, to accept that we're not perfect, to do things the right (often, harder) way, and to commit to it daily (78-84). Consider how we develop our artistic, technical, and physical abilities. Often through hours of practice a day, right? Well, here we're also talking about improving our mind and spirit. Do you sometimes neglect to dedicate time to your mind and soul? In this busy day and age, I know I do.

For instance, I have found that I need and want to develop my patience and compassion for others. It is something I must reflect upon constantly in order to keep myself on track, but yet it is so easy to forget all about it!

Maxwell believes that it is necessary to make improvement intentional. And in order to intentionally improve, he lays out the following steps:

1. Decide you are worth improving.
2. Pick an area to improve. (You can't improve everything all at once!)
3. Find opportunities to improve in the wake of your losses.

I think that the first step is essentially having hope for yourself, the belief that with some work you will be better tomorrow than you are today. I agree with Maxwell--you are totally worth improving! And since we do have the ability to get better and are blessed with new opportunities each day, don't we owe it to ourselves?

Next week, Maxwell is going to get more in depth with improvement, more methods to do it. But for this week's reading, I've found the renewed awe in the power of hope and look forward to Chapters 7 and 8! Please visit again next Friday for a discussion on "Teachability: The Pathway of Learning" and "Adversity: The Catalyst for Learning" and subscribe to Smiles No Matter so you'll never miss an update! Have a wonderful weekend!

Smile on,

-Riley XO

A Tribute to Maya Angelou

Hello there. Today's post will be relatively short because my words fall short in comparison to this great author's. As some of you may know, Maya Angelou passed away on the 28th, and this led me to reflect on how her words have impacted me.

It was probably my junior year of high school when I first stumbled across this quotation:

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

Since then, those words have come up each time I went through something difficult.

It's probably really melodramatic of me, but at times I can turn little instances of carelessness into major tragedies. For example, I once made a big exit giving up on my Chemistry grade only because the person I was working with told me the wrong answer to two of the questions, thereby confusing me immensely. It was soon resolved, but this just goes to show that I'm a person who is impacted a lot by Maya Angelou's famous words.

The first clause is empowering, and the second always reminds me to find that humility and grace that is somewhere inside of me. Trying to live by these words have gotten me through some crummy things, and will probably continue to do so in the future.

I haven't read much of her great literature, but the few pieces I have read were filled with such color and stories of hope. Maya Angelou, you have inspired me. Not just for my writing--for my life. Thank you.

Take care and God bless,
-Riley XO

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn (II)

TGIF! How are you? I'm doing well and have been keeping busy as always. A friend's graduation was on Monday and I had a lovely time visiting her. What was one of the highlights of your week? Let me know in the comments!

I really enjoyed last week's reading from the book Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn by John C. Maxwell. It was a great way to start the series! (To read my reflection and some others' comments, please follow this link.) Today, we'll be reflecting on Chapters 3 and 4, which I think go hand-in-hand perfectly because they are about reality and responsibility.

Quote of the week: "It's easier to go from failure to success than it is from excuses to success" (John C. Maxwell).

The whole discussion on humility and the spirit of learning last week helped set a solid base for this week's focus on "Reality: The Foundation of Learning" and "Responsibility: The First Step of Learning." Humility is absolutely necessary in order to see the reality of the situation and thereafter shoulder responsibility for the pain and hurt. We already established that pride is ultimately a blinding force that inhibits us from seeing what we did wrong. Instead, prideful people tend to live in a state of denial and blame others for their misery.

It's important, then, to see the problem, think about it as objectively as possible, and then accept that you were responsible for a measure of the consequences.
How can we see situations objectively?

Maxwell says that people who look at the world realistically know these things:

1. Life is difficult for everyone.
2. Life is more difficult for some than for others.

Having a faith that guides me helps me accept this. Why do we encounter pain, loss, and hardship? Because we live in an imperfect world. But just because bad things happen, it doesn't mean that the reality is that we should wallow in self-pity or give up. I've posted before that "The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one, be one." If you look at things realistically, you'll see that there are some things you cannot control. But what you can control is what truly matters. You can decide how to react, what to take away from the bad, and you can decide to stand up for what is right and good.

Responsibility for a situation can be difficult to take because often there are extrinsic and intrinsic factors that often influence it. Psychologists define "locus of control" as how people attribute the causes of the things that happen to them. People with an external locus of control believe that their situations are caused mostly by their surroundings. Those with an internal locus of control, on the other hand, believe that their situations are largely caused due to their own choices and actions. "Which group is more successful? The group that takes personal responsibility. Which people are more content? The ones who take personal responsibility. Which people learn from their mistakes and keep growing and improving? The people who take responsibility" (62-63).

I thought that his list on page 63 was very powerful when he argues that having an external locus of control essentially gives away the choice to control our lives:

Is it true that hating, loving, ignoring, hearing, despairing, hoping--all of these are up to us? What truly matters--our character--is completely our choice. 

As we begin to realize this, we begin to:

1. Take our first step in learning.
2. See things in their proper perspective.
3. Stop repeating our failures.
4. Grow stronger.
5. Back up our words with our behavior.

So, what are some steps we can start taking to look at our problems realistically and take the fair amount of responsibility?

Last week, we looked at the Examen to help us reflect and pray for a humble, learning spirit. 

Today, I have a new set of questions that we can ask in the face of some bad situations to help us see what we need to and learn:

• [In the case of an argument] Why did they do what they did? What would I have done if I were in their shoes? Is there a better way I could have approached the situation?
• [In the case of a bad habit] Are my priorities straight, and what is the evidence for this? What do I dedicate my time to, and what is taking up all of my time? Am I leading a healthy, balanced life? Do I have enough time to spend with friends and family?
• [In the case of a death] It is appropriate to mourn, and missing them is inevitable. But, if they were watching me from up above, how would they want to see me? Would they want to see me smile and find peace?
• [In the case of failure] What were my mistakes? What could I have done better? Why did I want this in the first place? Why should I try again? How should I change my strategy this time?

So this concludes all I have to say about Maxwell's third and fourth chapters. What did you think? Let me know in the comments below! Also, please subscribe to Smiles No Matter for future updates. Next week, we'll be studying the fifth and sixth chapters next Friday. Hope to see you then! 

Smile on,

-Riley XO