Be One

Hello! Has life been treating you well? This week's post is a little belated because I've just been getting busy with training for Taekwondo Collegiate Nationals and studying for midterms! I was also elected to be secretary of my pledge class (I joined a non-Greek, co-ed service fraternity called Alpha Phi Omega this semester) and was also trying to figure out my schedule this week.

Buuut at least there is still a post this week, eh? I am hoping to find time to film a video for a future post and the topic is something that has been on my heart for a while, so I will do my best to make it a quality video for you guys. That is one thing to look forward to!

Anyway, today is about kindness and gratitude. I found this picture from emilysquotes.com, and I think that just taking a look at it and basking in its meaning.

I saw this picture early this morning and knew it was something that you would appreciate! 

Guys, I can truly say from as little as 18 years of personal experience that there is a lot of darkness in this world. But it is up to only you if you become a part of this darkness, or if you become something greater. Although this post is pretty short and quick, I hope that it inspires you to go out of your way to do something kind today, or to look for kindness and feel your heart be filled with empathy. (Maybe even both?)

Have a wonderful rest of your Friday!

-Riley XO

What Would You Do?

Hello there, are you doing well? Thanks for visiting, and just for a little bit of background: I had this faith-based experience last Thursday. I can't say that I am the strongest Christian (or am even a strong Christian, for that matter), but this little anecdote just really resonated with me and I wanted to share it with you because it presents a challenge for Christians fairly well and I thought it was pretty cool. I'm a part of the Navigators, which under my interpretation is basically a Christian ministry that is focused on sharing God's love with others. The Navigators have a presence on campus, and I attend their Bible study groups and enjoy listening to some of their talks.

Today, I just wanted to share with you about the last session I attended with the Navigators. The topic was basically on being a laborer for Christ, but the speaker surprised us with a common topic that I hadn't seen framed in this manner before.

He asked: "What would you do if Jesus walked right through there and came to this room, right at this very moment?"

This wasn't a rhetorical question, though. He wanted answers. What would you do if Jesus came for a visit? I thought that I would be absolutely shocked, and then fall down to my knees. It sounds somewhat dramatic, but I feel like it's actually the opposite... These actions reflect my brain drawing a complete blank.

Then, the speaker continued on with his hypothetical situation. "Let's say that Jesus walks up to Taylor and says, 'Hey, how you doing, Taylor? I haven't seen you in a while. I was thinking maybe I could buy you some coffee tomorrow morning so we could catch up. Would you like to meet at Starbucks before your classes?' What would you to say to that, Taylor?"

"Of course!" exclaimed Taylor.

What would you do the next day when you saw Taylor after lunch? What would you ask her?

But he wasn't done with this little string of situations and questions yet. "What if the next day, you see Taylor at the dining hall, and ask 'How was it? What did he say? What was he like?' but then Taylor says, 'You know, I was really looking forward to it, but I forgot to set my alarm last night and overslept... Then when I got up, it was already time for class so I just couldn't make it.'"

An awkward silence fell around the room.

He captured the thoughts that were running through most of our minds. "What were you thinking? How could you do that? What's wrong with you?!"

"But you know what," he continued. "This is happening to us. Don't you see that God is inviting you to listen to him every morning? All you have to do is open his Word, and discover all he has to say."

Now is the chance to open up your Bible and spend some quality time with Jesus, the best friend a guy or girl could ever have. I hope this post challenges you to remember that meeting with God doesn't have to be taken for granted.

Take care,
-Riley XO

theheartofpastormatt.wordpress.com 

Are You Suffering?

Dear Friend,

How are you today? No, really. Is everything okay? Are you going through something hard? Well, times can be rough. I can't quite say that I know what you're going through, but I know just as well as anyone what suffering feels like. 

To me, suffering usually feels a lot like nobody understands, that nothing can make things better. Like there is darkness wrapping itself around me and all I can do is let it stay. 

Saying that it is difficult to deal with death, natural disasters, rape, eating disorders, illness, lies, etc. is a major understatement. How are we supposed to look at suffering? How do we explain it? Can we explain it?

People's reactions to your suffering vary depending on what their core beliefs are. They say, "You're going through this because it'll make you stronger in the end." Or, "Don't worry, it'll work out later." Sometimes an "It's okay" even when things are clearly not okay.

And then there's the Bible. 

Paul says that he rejoices in suffering (Romans 5).

The other night at Bible study, we were taking a look at John 11, which is the account of Lazarus. 

Lazarus had been dead for four days when Jesus came. There was weeping on this day because in Jewish tradition, four days after someone's passing signified that his/her soul had passed to the next life. Can you relate to the grief? Knowing that a loved one is gone forever... I think that this kind of sadness is, in a sense, greater than if I had died in the other person's place.

Why would Jesus allow Lazarus to die? He had loved him--why would he allow the death to occur and allow the suffering to happen?

Could it be that he allowed Lazarus to die so that he could raise him from the dead?

God's Word tells us that his glory is manifested through our weaknesses. The suffering that we go through--his glory can shine brighter and stronger than all of it.

God's love is essential to human life, and that is why our lowest points can sometimes be the most important points of our lives, because those moments are when we experience the greatest potential for letting his love shine through.

Take care,
-Riley XO

Image from Quorri Scharmyn

Discipleship and Inner Turmoil

Hello there everyone!

Unfortunately I did not have time to film a YouTube video this weekend. My roommate used to travel to visit her boyfriend every weekend, but she just got a job and is now staying in the dorm a lot more, which makes it somewhat awkward to film because I feel guilty disturbing her. NaNoWriMo started five days ago, and I'm getting into the swing slowly but surely (so much writing, ahhh!).

There are also a couple of additional things going on in college that I added onto my palate this week, so I am in the process of adjusting, but I am determined to film a video for next week focusing on the first chapter of The Little Prince.

That being said, I recently wrote something for a Theology class that I wanted to share with you. This is an essay responding to the prompt: 

Based on Mark’s Gospel and EITHER Philippians OR 1 John, what does it mean to be a disciple of Jesus? Please present and explain the connection(s) between Mark’s gospel and the ethical demands of Philippians OR 1 John. Include an assessment of the practical implications of discipleship for Jesus’ followers today, possibly including a reflection on the tension between Christian life and “modern life.”

It was a challenging write for me, but here are the insights that I had. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to type away at the space below!

Have a wonderful week, and I hope you find this to be valuable or at least interesting.
-Riley XO

Note: the excerpt from Rolheiser is taken from the third chapter his book The Holy Longing. It is a fascinating read if you ever have time to pick up a little something.

beaconfallscongregational.org

             Some people view the Bible as a manuscript for living. Although the Bible actually encompasses a variety of genres, it is undeniably a helpful tool for discovering God's plans for his disciples. The Gospel of Mark gives a narration of Jesus' life, but also highlights parables that exemplify the image of an upright disciple. First John then builds upon Jesus' commandments, providing further insight regarding the proper lifestyle for disciples, embellishing on the parables in a straightforward manner. An interesting implication arises, however, when both Mark and First John express that disciples will be persecuted by the world for following God. With further examination, turmoil ultimately coincides with discipleship in the modern context.

            In order to understand the meaning of discipleship, it is first necessary to understand the Kingdom of God, which is a common theme throughout the New Testament. From early on in his teachings, Jesus is already proclaiming that "The Kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" (New American Bible, Mark 1:15). The concept of the Kingdom of God is developed throughout the New Testament, and essentially comes to define the community of Christians who follow Jesus' teachings and love one another, and the Kingdom of God is spread through Jesus' disciples, as explained by the Great Commission (NAB, Mark 16:15). Perhaps one of the most descriptive parables for discipleship in Mark comes from the Parable of the Sower, in which Jesus explicitly states that "those are they that were sown upon the good ground; such as hear the word, and accept it, and bear fruit, thirtyfold, and sixtyfold, and a hundredfold" (NAB, Mark 4:20).  The soil in this parable is most significant because it predetermines the seeds' success. According to Mark, therefore, disciples of Jesus are nourished with "good soil."

            What is an example of good soil, and what must a disciple do to ensure that s/he is in good soil? Jesus answered this question, saying, "Whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it" (NAB, Mark 10:15). Accepting a set of beliefs as a child would goes against instinct, especially after a human has developed rhetorical and logical skills with adulthood. To adults, children seem naive and too trusting. However, it is exactly this innocence and acceptance that Jesus values. Children tend to look for good in the world. Rather than looking down at others, they look up because they realize that they are not the strongest, the wealthiest, nor really even capable of surviving on their own. They  listen and learn quickly; their perspectives are malleable, constantly adjusting to new information. Good soil is having such openness of a child, and the plant begins to grow when the seed realizes that it is dependent on God.

            When the seed has taken root and has the nutrients to flourish, it then bears fruit. First John develops discipleship further by explaining what "bearing fruit" is, revealing that "everyone who acts in righteousness is begotten by [God]" (NAB, 1 John 2:29).  A person living righteously can be interpreted to be someone who abides by the Ten Commandments, someone who loves his/her neighbor as him/herself, or someone who follows Christ's example. The last of these would probably be the most suitable interpretation due to the latter part of the verse above. Doesn't it make sense that the disciple following Christ's example is, in a sense, "begotten by God"? Turning again to Mark, it is possible to understand what the correct image of living righteously should be. Jesus showed compassion to the persecuted, healed the sick, and loved the poor. He also taught the people around him to express agape (love) for one another, and empowered the Twelve Disciples to also heal and perform miracles. Therefore, in order for disciples to be considered as "begotten by God," they must also act with this selfless agape. The fruit that disciples bear is essentially the good that ripples out from sharing agape with the Christian and surrounding communities, which is analogous to spreading the Kingdom of God.

            So this rudimentary definition of a disciple of Jesus shaped by Mark and First John is simple, desirable, and straightforward. However, it is a matter of fact that disciples will be hated by the world (NAB, 1 John 3:15). It turns out that discipleship is not as wonderful as it seems, despite the Kingdom of God being the reward. What is it about following Christ's example, that persecution is the result?

            The obvious answer is that in modern life, Jesus' commandments do not coincide with what the world teaches. So naturally, modern disciples are distinctly separate from others. However, it is also important to clarify that persecution comes from the world, and not necessarily other humans. Because disciples are originally born of the flesh before they are "born again" in God, perhaps persecution does come from within the disciples themselves. In order to better conceptualize this abstract idea, Rolheiser establishes that balancing a strong sense of personal integrity, social justice, a peaceful heart, and community with others --all components of being "begotten by God"-- is challenging (Rolheiser 56).  Rolheiser demonstrates with four examples that imbalance is accompanied by personal distress and/or disapproval from both Christians and non-Christians. Disciples must wrestle with inner turmoil trying to attain balance to lead a godly life, a process that is emotionally taxing. And since the great, harmonious, perfect image of God is beyond human capacities, the process of inner turmoil is, in a sense, permanent.

            Being a disciple in the context of Mark and First John presented challenges especially in the early church since Christians were actually physically persecuted. However, such persecution in contemporary life has taken a different form as modern disciples are bombarded with a fast-paced lifestyle that heightens stress and often blurs lines between what is right and wrong. Conflict between disciples and the world, which is integrated both into society and the disciples themselves, makes it a challenge to follow Christ as a child would; however, true disciples of Jesus persevere in order to bear fruit and spread the Kingdom of God.

"I Still Love You, But You're Not Worth The Pain."

I found the following quotation from Ritu Ghatourey: "Moving on isn't about not loving them anymore and forgetting them. It's about having the strength to say 'I still love you, but you're not worth the pain.'"

While I was playing the second movement of the Carmen Fantasy, I thought about Jay. [Which is 0:00-2:20ish in the following video.]

I actually have trouble playing this part of the piece because it is in a minor key but my instinct is to play in in a major key. (I suppose that's why I end up thinking about him.)

I discussed a little bit about my motives to talk to Jay in this post, but finally on Monday, I had the courage to reach out to him. I saw him, tried to be friendly, and later texted him, asking if it were possible to talk sometime. Initially, he was willing, but when I revealed that I would like to try to rebuild our friendship, he began slamming walls against me. There are some striking parts of our conversation that leave me...confused.

Me: "Ok, here's what I've wanted to say: I'd like to try rebuilding our friendship and I don't think that the bad things from the relationship are worth hating each other for forever because I was the first relationship and we were still learning."

Jay: "...You deserve better than me. I am not worth being friends with... I'm a hateful, cynical person. I treated you like shit toward the end. I'm sorry; you deserved better. I read your story and was blown away by how well written it was. You're going to go places. I'm all for ending on a positive note, but you deserve far better than anything I'm capable of."

Me: "...I think that people are put into our hearts for a reason, and I believe that in your heart you are better than you have been behaving--that's why I liked you. I had faith in that part. To be honest though it's a very fragile belief, has been for a while...I don't think friendships/relationships are supposed to be about "deserving" each other, but learning from each other, and I am sincerely concerned about your well-being. I told you I forgave you, and I still do... I thought you were better and all of those actions were a method of coping."
Despite my words, however, he still declined.

creepypasta.wikia.com

Even now, I have trouble making sense of many things concerning our relationship.

Is it normal for someone to look back at his/her first relationship and feel...trifled?

Last night, I felt lost, like I had failed somehow. That somehow, if I had tried harder I would've been able to reestablish the connection with him or that somehow things would've all worked out, and we would've been able to show others that finding goodness even in a broken friendship is possible. Maybe, if I'd done better, he would've found the awesomeness that is inside of him, and that as a result he would never have made such self-depreciating comments.

gainesonbrains.com

But today I finally realize that those conflicts that Jay has are ones that he must deal with himself. He is the one who must live with himself for the rest of his life, after all. I truly do want to help him, but the best way I can help him right now is by leaving. (Is there even another option?)

It is so hard walking away.

I hope that things will start to look up for him, sooner than later. In the meantime, all I can do is pray. I might not be able to soothe his anger or give him a better perspective in life, but God can.

Thank you to those that have been with me through this, and I would also appreciate having your prayers for Jay and me as well, if it's not too much to ask.

I hope that you take away something from this story; it certainly has given me a lot to think about.

-Riley XO

Thank you for reading this post, and please join me on the magical journey of life by subscribing by email or Bloglovin'. I am still at such an early stage of life, so there will definitely be better things to report in the Diary label of this blog in the future, but otherwise I post many things that are inspiring, fun, or quirky and would very much like to share and connect with you the lessons I am learning in this adventure of a lifetime.

Our Lives Are God's

Hello everybody! Happy Monday! Here are two quick quotes for you fellow Christians that are just motivational for getting through the rough times and to cherish the good ones. I'm working on a post right now called 7 Things To Do When You Don't Know What To Do, which will be out tomorrow morning.

Life is God’s initiative and can end or change suddenly, unexpectedly, and unpredictably. When we humans are ready to give up hope and resign ourselves to inevitability, God intervenes and reveals completely new beginnings. The resurrection of Jesus is God’s sign breaking through every form of human fatalism and despair. In every critical event, there is an opportunity for God to act creatively and reveal a deeper truth than what we see on the surface of things. God also can turn around critical incidents and seemingly hopeless situations in our lives and reveal light in darkness.
- Henri Nouwen

God does have a plan, and it gives me a sense of peace when I am reminded of this.

I hope your work week has a wonderful start to it today.
Take care,
-Riley XO